Sunday, December 30, 2007

a few pounds heavier

How was everyone's Christmas? Mine was great. Althought after all the food I ate, I feel like I've gained a few pounds. And I was doing so great with healthy snacking and eating. But loosing those pounds and some more will be a good New Years resolution.

With the family over it is difficult doing a lot of homework. But I've already done the small assignments and today they are gone with some other family to Belgium and I've done a lot of typing (of course not enough since I'm not finished).

After my last post I went into town with a few friends. And I ran into one of my ex boyfriends, we have a love/hate relationship. That evening he decided it would be a love one. But I didn't feel like it and kept saying no and 3x a charm (he's been my bf once and we made out twice after that). Of course he didn't agree and kept trying. We had great fun, dancing and fooling around. Then all of a sudden Tiny shows up. Well....I could handle that. He didn't make an effort in seducing me so my exbf thought that he would have more luck (nope). And then I could a text message of the text guy saying where are you standing, I'm at the same bar. Oops :S, great 3 guys wanting me, and they don't know the other exists (well the ex bf does because I told him the story of Tiny and text guy). (A friend of exbf tells me to dump all of them and go home with him.) Since I was talking to a lot of people who I know, text guy gave up and went to another bar where he would know more people. Pfiew one down. I ended up bringing Tiny home and he asked me in. We were making out when the church bells let us know that it was already 5 am. Oops, I told my parents I would be home on time. So in 2 seconds I was out the door. Tiny was so surprised, like what happened.

Then on the second day of Christmas I got so scared of text guy. I already decided that I wanted to end whatever was going on with him. He showed up in the bar where me and my friends were partying after having dinner. He kept coming very near like he wanted to kiss me and once he even hold me very tight and came too near. I was like, if you are going to kiss me you're in trouble. Then Tiny started to text me if I was still in town. He didn't feel like doing anything so I told him that I could come to his place, but then he was already walking in town to some other bar. And his messages were strange and I was like okay Bye Tiny. That's the last thing I sent him. So both Tiny and Text guy are gone.

I saw my ex bf on my best friend's birthday party, and I had brought my cousin. I told my ex bf that it was over with both of the others. And he replied that he was still available, but I was still like nope 3x a charm. And he said I thought it was more. (in the bar on friday he said 4x a charm and his friends were like no 5x and 6x, in the end it was even 9 :S.) Then he asked my cousin the question of how many times a charm. And you would think my cousin would be on my side, but no he replied with 3x a charm but sometimes you need a 4th. Argh!!! Well...maybe the next time I see my ex bf I'll just give him his 4th time and then we're over and done with.
This will probably be on his birthday party since I'm invited

Euhm....I guess this is it for now. I wish everyone the best for 2008! Don't toy around with fireworks!

Friday, December 21, 2007

ow my

Soooooo.....update about Tiny. Because I'm a decent girl, I decided to text him, how his weekend was. We text a bit back and forth. IMed him when I saw that he was online and ended the conversation with text or mail me when you have the time. He says ok. This was on Monday. So I thought okay, let's wait. Heard nothing. On Thursday, I decided that I could grab a drink with the other guy, just as friends. And then my phone rings, guess who? Yup Tiny. Just like he sensed I was out with an other guy. But with the holidays coming up he has to work and I'm off. And afterwards I have to start doing all those schoolassignments. So we'll see when we meet again.
He told me he wasn't dating any other woman so I'm okay. But when I checked "social network site" I saw him messaging back and forth with another girl. Well....she's lives far away but still. And I shouldn't fuss about this.

My Christmasbreak already started today. So I thought I can make a head start on my to do list of homework. The assignment that I missed in the first 10 weeks, I had to do on my own, but the sheets of the lectures were soooooo unclear, I didn't understand anything. I got online asked a few classmates. They also didn't understand anything and just got a sufficient but what they understood was from what the teacher told them, of course they didn't make any notes :S.
Another option, e-mailing the teacher. What do you think? Already out of office, he'll be back on Jan 7th :S. So I can cross that assignment off my to do list, since I can't do it this break. I will do it after midterms, so that's half Feb.

This Sunday the family will be coming over. Jeej :)/:(. :( because I already have a lot to do. :) because I don't see them so often. Since I live in the Netherlands and they live in the States (Florida). I have already prepared them for the cold overhere. It's snowing badly (normally it's just cold but no snow), and brrrrrr cold. (Because of the snow I couldn't see a strange white bump in the road and fell with my bike, I'm bruised all over :(). My cousins keep telling me that they are in need of some cold, but I don't think they're prepared for this. Last time they were here it also snowed and we needed all the warm clothes, scarfs and mitts when we wanted to go outside.

Ow and of course this break: a lot of partying!!! Tonight, tomorrow, the second day of Christmas (yes we have 2 days of Christmas here in the Netherlands), the day after Christmas, New Years Eve and of course the Fridays and Saturdays :D:D. I don't drink a lot so getting up in the morning won't be bad.

I'm going to try and finish some more of my to do list.

Monday, December 17, 2007

Decency

So I have decided that Tiny is no longer worth my time. He told me that he would text me when he got back. So when I had a few minutes to spare this morning and I saw his status on a social network site, he was in the train heading back home yesterday. I was furious. I do like him, but I'm not a sad puppy following a guy she likes. It has to be on my terms or a compromise between mine and his, but it's certainly not on his terms. Definetely not! He has IMed and texted me but he hasn't suggested a thing to do. Well if you don't want to date someone anymore, at least have the decency to tell them.

He has a lot to make up for if you want to get on my good side again.

But of course, we had no future together anyway. He is a high school drop out. He's been a waiter ever since and it will probably not change in the near future. Some people can live with that, I can have that sort of people as my friends but not as boyfriend. Maybe I'm too demanding, setting the standard too high, but then again I am a spoiled little brat. And most of the time I get it the way I want (now I just need a guy that thinks along the same lines ;)).

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Update on the dating

So the text messaging guy has become quite irritating. In the beginning I didn't know how to handle him since I couldn't date him because of Tiny (more on him in a moment). But now I just turn my phone off or leave it somewhere because everytime it rings I hope it is Tiny but it is always him. So I have started to text him fewer messages (of course I sometimes have to send something back, completely ignoring him would be just plain wrong), and mentioned Tiny once or twice.

So Tiny. He always has the morning off and since I had the Thursday off, I decided that it couldn't hurt to do a morning date. Well...that meant getting out of bed early and crawl into his bed (since I still live with parents and he lives alone, it wouldn't be wise to do it the other way around). We just made out and really slept (hey, I only slept for a few hours and he even less). We both liked it and that we should do it more often. He preferred that I would be in his bed the whole night (that's not gonna work). Than I saw him on Friday when he had to do some shopping. I was doing some shopping as well and we just ran into eachother in town. Since he would be away for the weekend I told him to text me as soon as he got home (probably after 12) so that I could see him before he would leave. In the evening I went out with one of my girlfriends but I didn't hear from Tiny. So I texted him that even if he wasn't interested in seeing me that night, he should let me know that he was home (yes I care). As soon as I walked into my home I got a message saying that he just got off work and that he didn't forget me. I wished him pleasant weekend since I was heading for bed. That's the last I heard.
When I entered a friends house yesterday, all my friends were and how's Tiny? Euhm...I don't know. And then they told me that they saw him in the bar. So I'm feeling sort of strange now. What is he doing? Does he still want me? I've finally decided between him and the other guy and now he is giving me the cold shoulder? Or will he text me as soon as he gets back? (he hasn't seen his friends in some time now, so that could be a reason, right???)

Something else...school is killing me. They say you have more free time than when you are working. Work is way more difficult than school. I have to disagree. I'm working on it fulltime and in the weekend. I'm putting in way more hours that I would do when I would be working. Most of the time when it's 5 pm you finish the thing you were working on (if it's easily finished), clean your desk and go home. What you haven't finished is for tomorrow. Not with school. I think the working life is going to be a piece of cake. I have done a year of work and I liked it better than I like school (stupid assignments that are easy but take up a lot of time). I had more free time, I had more time to party and more time for my friends. Now I have to cancell on so many things just because I have school, argh!!! Well.....I'm back to my language guide, comparing british english to american english, sigh.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Dating continues

Fridayevening me and my friends went twilight bowling. There I re-met a guy I liked when I was with my previous boyfriend (that was about half year ago). And from his sister I already knew he liked me too. Because I hadn't really heard a lot from my date from Tuesday, I thought it couldn't hurt that we exchange phonenumbers when he asked for mine.

Oh boy what was I wrong.

My date from Tuesday (lets call him Tiny since he's my height) had already let me know that he had Saturday off instead of Sunday, what meant that he could attend my birthdaybash. And after the bowling I got a text message asking me where I was so he could join me. He joined me and all was going okay but the other guy kept text messaging me. And of course I kept texting back since I didn't know how my night was going to end. I was driving my friends crazy with the texting so they confiscated my phone. Now my whole focus was on Tiny and we had great fun and had a steamy kissing session in the back of my car (never did that before). He hoped that I would spend the night at his place (since I still live with my parents) but I didn't know him that well (and still don't) so I just drove home. The next evening was my party and he said he would be there on time but he was two hours late. And I hadn't heard from him for the whole day, so I had strange feelings. But I had a distraction since I still had the other guy who was still text messaging me. At the end of the party Tiny stayed to help clean up and for a make-out session, and he wanted to keep my Monday evening free. I said I would and that was again all I heard from him for the next days. My first message on Sunday was that I was off early and that I needed to eat something so I would be later. I got back a text saying that he would arrange food. So I texted back that that would be fine and a question (can't remember what). Nothing. On Monday I sent a message saying the exact time I would be at his place. Nothing. After texting just Are you still alive, I got a reply. Meanwhile the other guy is becoming a text messaging addict.

Monday evening was okay. We had a lot of fun and he can cook :D. But he's still giving me mixed signals. He told me that he didn't want a steady relationship but he wasn't dating anyone else. But I sort of need more of a security. I need to know where I stand and not that he's gone next week. When we're together, everything is very clear. He wants me. But when we're not together it's strange. One minute we are texting and texting, the other I hear nothing from him for a day.

And I feel awful for the other guy. I like him too, but I can't date two guys at the same time. I wouldn't want it to be the otherway around. I need to be the only woman he's dating. And I know I have more security with the other guy and that we will have a more promising future (I feel so good around Tiny but he didn't even finish high school, that's not a bad thing but still).


Argh!!! It's all driving me crazy. And it even makes me sick. I can't eat and it's not because of butterflies or something, it's because of my conscience.

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

first date

So....it's been more than a week since my last post. Bad me. But I have been very very busy and I've been ill as well.

School is going okay. I think I finally start to understand a little bit of marketing (it would be easier to understand it completely since I have to make a marketing plan, but one step at the time).
After only a few classes of Spanish I had my audio exam yesterday and on Friday I have my oral. I think that's going to be a resit since Spanish is still jibberish to me.

Next to school and homework, I haven't gotten that much free time. I'm too tired to do something in the evening when I've been up since 6 o'clock and home at 8 pm.

But yesterday I had a date. It was a spontaneous date. One of my friends has a new roomy and we sort of hit it off a few weeks back, but I hadn't heard from him since then. Monday I saw that I gotten an e-mail from him through a friends network thingy (like myspace, facebook) that he had sent a week before (I'm not a friends network site person, I have my friends and I just e-mail them, I don't have time to update my profile because it changes too often and you still have to e-mail everyone since they'll be asking questions). Of course I e-mailed back and he had replied almost immediately which I saw yesterday. Then we started text messaging and planned a date for that evening. I wanted to be home on time, to get some hardly needed sleep. I was home on time but the first few hours were again text messaging. We just had too much fun on our date and we are trying to plan a second date. But with our time schedules it's a bit of a disaster. I have classes during the day and he works everyday from 2 till closing time (restaurant). So we have time during the night but that's not an option since we have to sleep as well. But we want to see if we can make it work, so more efficient planning of homework and probably less sleep.

Hope to keep you updated more regularly.

Thursday, November 22, 2007

the first week

Well...I hoped to blog regularly but it's already been a week since my first blog, so not a good start.

I can say that I have been very very very busy with school. Classes from 8.30 till 6 pm. Which means that I have to get up at 6 am and I'm not home before 7.30 pm. After which I still have to make loads of homework. And not to mention do the homework for the classes I missed in the first few months.

When I entered my first lecture on Monday morning, I didn't know what to expect. How are my lecturers going to be, and my classmates? I knew I could do the classes but if you're stuck which your classmates for hours and hours it would be nice if they're fun. And fortunately they are! :D Of course they asked me tons of questions, why I just transferred and not sooner and why I transferred etcetera. Don't know how big my class is but both classes together are about 30/35 students (only 2 boys), so not that big.
When I have spanish the class consists of only a part of my class and a part of another education. And in that class are a few guys and they are real fun. Haven't learned that much spanish in the last lesson because we (me, a few girls and the guys) were goofing around. The teacher's english is pretty bad and he keeps saying things wrong, and then one of my classmates makes a remark and we start laughing (again).
So....this first week wasn't a bad start for school. Only it was an early rise.

I told you about my friend with benefits. He was acting strange. He thought that I couldn't go through with it, at least that's what he says. But I've got the feeling that he can't go through with it, but he says that's not true.
I went to his place yesterday. It starts awkward like how are you going to start and stuff. So we were just talking about work/school and daily life and then we started to watch a movie. And we started to move, first we were on the outer corners of the sofa and closely moved towards eachother. It still was strange. It was alright, but strange. We just need to get used to it, or just quit. Don't know which one just yet.
He always says that he's a sexaddict but he's always too tired. So if you wants to keep this up, he needs to get more sleep or do something that gives him more energy.

Well...I'm off again. Back to my reading.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Out of construction/start

I thought it finally is time to get this blog up and running. But it's difficult to make a beginning.
I always have so much to tell but once I'm behind my notebook my mind goes blank.

But now I am really going to start because if I don't I will go insane (not that I'm not already). I need to confide in someone about the things going on in my life and I don't think my friends will understand or think what I'm doing is wise. I'm always the wise and sensible friend in our group. I'm always willling to help and I'm nice.
Well.....I'm done with that. I want to be who I want to be and not who they want me to be. So they probably won't understand that I have started a friends-with-benefits relation with my latest ex boyfriend. I know this isn't a sane thing to do. To start, it's really not me. Second, I'm not completely over him. But the sex was so bad when we were dating and it's sort of great now so...why complain.


There has been another change in my life recently. Halfway in the first semester of my education I switched from the first year to the second, which I will start Monday.
I have been working for the last year so I'm still getting used to the idea of studying but since I can skip a year, I'm doing something right, aren't I? I am missing my friends from work though. From seeing them fulltime during the week till only an e-mail every forthnight (their work is very demanding).


Okay, so this was a start. I hope I can keep going and post regularly. My native isn't English so if I'm making grammar or spelling mistakes, please let me know. If you have questions, please ask, I shall do my best to answer them.