Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy New Year

I already want to wish everyone a happy new year. Be safe with the fireworks tonight, don't drink and drive (well....if you're drinking alcohol that is).

A little over 10 hours to go (at least for me) and it will be 2010, the year of my graduation. Finally, the end is near :D. I've got no more classes, only exams and my thesis, which I hopefully finish at the end of May (that way I have it handed in before the deadline of June 11, and will be on my way to the US with my parents).

Read (since see is not appropriate) you all in the new year.

Monday, December 28, 2009

little pet peeve

So how was everyone's Christmas or other holiday you celebrate? Mine was doable. We have two days of Christmas. The first was spend with my mom's dad, and the second with my dad's family. It was ok, we had food, we didn't eat too much. My mom didn't want to spend her whole day in the kitchen so we had an "easy" dinner (although it still consisted of 4 courses). The second day everyone has made small snacks (we did something with smoked salmon). Apparently something wasn't completely right since my stomach wasn't all too happy that night (I normally sleep on my stomach but now I couldn't which resulted in a bad night sleep).

In the beginning of November me and my friends had a birthday party of another friend. I had some ideas for presents and we decided to put our money together and buy the gifts for the friend. Since it was all done through text messaging and e-mail, the money wasn't actually put together yet. I bought the gifts and was supposed to get the money afterwards. It's fine, I know my friends, I'll get the money. Because the birthday friend was constantly around us, I didn't get the money that day, which is still ok. We decided that I should e-mail my bank account number so that they could wire the money. Well....from one friend I got the money even before I send the email with the number (I was in his "address book"), and I got another after a week or 2. So after 2 weeks I send them a reminder that I still hadn't received all the money. One friend emailed back saying that he would wire the money from him and his girlfriend that evening, but he forgot.

On the day of my birthday party (4 weeks after the friend's birthday party), I still hadn't received the money from 3 friends (out of 5), so I send them another reminder e-mail with the message that if they want they could give it to me tonight.

Immediately after I send the e-mail, I had this weird feeling. I told my school friend (girl 2 from previous post) that I had the feeling that they would give me the money back in form of a gift. E.g. they see something I'd like, but it costs more than they would spend on a birthday present and then put the money they owe me also in the birthday present. The school friend was like No one would do that, would they? And I know my friends aren't like that but I still had this weird feeling.

So that evening the party starts and people come in and hand me their presents. The couple says this includes the money we still owe you. I open the envelope and I find money for my birthday in there as well as the money they owe me. Then I get the present (also an envelope) from the other couple where only one still owes me, and the girlfriend says this includes also the money he still owes you. I open the envelope and it's a gift certificate for an online shop which includes the money he owed me.

Now I know it's a gift certificate and it's not a present, so I can still spend the money. But I would like to have the money, and not include it in my gift. Now I'm obligated to spend the money he owed me on something in that online shop. And I'm not happy with that. I had that weird feeling, and it was justified. I should have send that e-mail a day later, or reminded them at the party. (Although that gift certificate takes a day in the post to get there, I wonder if that would have made a difference, or maybe they already had that gift certificate lying around and after that e-mail thought we can finally get rid of that gift certificate).

Would you ever do that? But the money you owe someone in a gift?

Monday, December 21, 2009

Christmas break

So I've been slacking here. It's just because I've been soooo busy.

I was sick the first week of December, too sick to do anything. I'm still coughing and have been for four weeks (it's getting pretty old, I haven't slept in my own bed for 3 weeks now, since that one can't go up).

Maybe the reason why the cough isn't gone is because of all the stress I had since the beginning of December, I haven't been able to get a second of rest.

First of all, slacker girl (previously known as aily) has been kicked out of the group. We gave her another deadline. Mostly because we didn't have time to do her stuff before the deadline anyway. The deadline was set Friday 1.30. At 1.19 we get an e-mail with an attachment, in the e-mail she says that the other stuff is on another computer and that we would get it shortly. The attachment contained crap, it was completely irrelevant to the project so no clue why she send it to us. At 8pm we still haven't had the stuff, so I send her an angry e-mail asking how much it takes to walk from one computer to the next? and if someone else would be working on it, that person could give her two minutes because it doesn't take longer than that. I gave her another ultimatum, Saturday morning before 9. Well....at 8.50 we get an e-mail, saying that the email was still in saved and hadn't been send.

What would any normal person do if he/she would find out that a very important e-mail hadn't been send? Send it! Well....she didn't do that, nope she first opened the e-mail I send the previous evening (6ish) with the latest layout, adjustments and sorts. And she copied and pasted her stuff in, making a few adjustments along the way in her previous stuff. We figure that she hadn't not send her e-mail with the stuff, we think she was still typing it. Even after we e-mailed a few times that if she had problems with the stuff she could come to us. But nothing. Then I looked at what she actually did. She had to describe something with 10 aspects, guess how many she did describe? 3, and she did only the minimum, she only defined what does 3 aspects mean, not even comparing them, not even to the conceptual framework she was supposed to describe. So we finally kicked her out.

But that meant that I had to spend my Saturday instead of preparing for my party, writing her stuff. Well...I planned to do stuff for school anyway because I had more than one project that had a deadline last Friday. But I couldn't because I had to do slacker girl's work. I choose to do that project because there's this other girl dependent on too.

And with the bad nights I'm having because of the coughing, I was really taking it hard. I couldn't focus. Our presentation was fun, that was before slacker girl was thrown out, she hadn't let us know that she wasn't coming, although we didn't expect her to show. The other girl had some stress problems too and was seeing black spots, so a minute after she started her part of the presentation she broke down since she couldn't see the text on the paper in front of her. I took over her part but I was reading it and with the coughing fits in between, I don't think anyone had any idea what our presentation was about. But I digress.

I had a week and we still had 2 major projects to sort of start. And with the bad nights, I was almost completely worthless. Even the doctor couldn't do anything for my coughing and wrote a note for my teachers (yup I just turned 24 and the doctor still writes a note for my teacher :S) saying that I needed to rest, and that all the bad nights could have an effect on my project work. So I e-mailed one teacher (I was trying to do as much as I could before all the deadlines and I was only asking one teacher for a delay), but apparently that already gave me the feeling that a heavy load was taken off, so my work went smooth. I finished that project in 2 days, and on Wednesday me and the other girl made our own model out of the stuff we did before, and also that went as a train, we finished that day (most people were working on it for a few days not to say weeks, but we were so done with everything and the deadline being only 2 days away we didn't really have a choice). So instead of finishing everything just before the deadlines (noon and the closing of school), we finished everything on Wednesday evening. Handed the stuff in on Thursday, and then went shopping, to the movie (avatar 3d) and out for dinner. And all our other classmates were still working on it Thursday night. So we did a good job, and we deserve a few days of peace.

But of course that's passed before you know it, since I have to make up the lost time for my thesis (when I was sick the first week of Dec) and I've got exams right after the Christmas break. Only until 11 June, that's the deadline of my thesis. And then I'm completely done with school. Now I can only hope that I can join the workforce.

Happy Holidays!

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

I so hate freeloaders

Sorry for not posting but life has been hectic. Well...maybe not life but more school. All those bleep projects.

I ranted in a previous post that I had to give up my "free" Tuesday, well....that project took a turn for the worst.

We're with a group of 3. And we have to describe 3 theoretical models. So 1 each right? Wrong. One of the group has an ailment (aily) so missed a lot of classes the first period, and didn't do the exam (so she didn't study). Because 2 out of 3 models have already been discussed in class and were in the topiclist of the exam, me and the other person described them. The third was new for all of us, and because we get that she has an ailment and can't do as much as us, we would do the third one with the 3 of us. Aily would be the expert and we would help describe the model.

So the other person travelled to her room in our school town yesterday (a trip of over 2/3 hours), that way we could start early today. I only have to travel one hour, so I took the train this morning. While I'm in the train I get a text from aily saying that she's working from home today but we could e-mail her. WHAT?! We came to school especially for her. I called the other person and she was mad too. What a waste of time.

Aily has a knack for being passive. She was unable to make the deadlines in the previous period and she discussed that with the coordinator. Fine, I get that. But I would make sure that the teachers of those courses knew it too, she didn't notify them, she hoped that the coordinator would. And then she looked at us like Ha! I did better than you on that small test. Well yeah duh! If I only had that small test to focus on I would have gotten higher than you, but since I have ten zillion other classes to worry about too, that one can slip because I'll pass it anyway.

Then before the exams she already knows that she won't be able to do one of the exams because she has one from a previous year (which we weren't allowed if we wanted to enter this course but hey she's an exception), and I told her that it would be smart to also let the teacher know. Her reply? He's already gone. He was probably only 5 steps away from the classroom.

But back to today. We decided to meet anyway there's a timelimit. Texts and calling left us without a response. After a lot of discussing we went to find the teacher for this course, just so he would know that she didn't show (again). He was a bit angry, appointment is appointment, and you can't behave like this. But since we are in our final year we should be able to handle this ourselves, but if we wanted to kick her out of the group we'd have his consent.

We thought that was a bit too drastic but we've come to that idea in the end. We've reorganised our project, added some things, and divided it all up into 2. We've send aily an e-mail that if she wasn't our friend we would dismissed her from the group way before this, that we're now in a difficult situation and don't know what to do. Hoping that she would reply. And apologise and stuff. From 12 to now (that's almost 9 hours) we haven't heard a thing.

We discussed the situation with a couple of other classmates/friends but they hate to be in our shoes right now. Aily is a friend but one of the other said, well....is she a friend if she lets 2 friends out in the cold? She got a point there. If I would have not been able to come to school, I would have called with a detailed explanation, I would have send an e-mail with this is what I've got, and I would be available by phone the whole day. And so would the other projectmember.

We've just decided that if aily doesn't respond before tomorrow 2pm, we're done. The only excuse is hospital or near dying. I know it's hard but we have to take measures. We're now discussing if we should let aily know about our decision. We've told her that we would have thrown her out if she was any other and that we were now uncertain what to do. But to be politically correct we should text and e-mail her. But then she could pull an all nighter and still have something to show, and we're sorta fed up with her anyway. And it would be cruel to keep rubbing it in, but it's also cruel to just throw her out. SIGH!

The last e-mail on the course we got from her was at 0.30am, I was fast asleep at that time. So the other member said we should suggest that aily sleeps at night, works on school during the day, and keep away from other activities. Now she's making her problem our problem, and we're not so happy about that.

Well...thanks for reading another one of my rants on school. All advice is welcome.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

What's this world becoming?

The people in this world are becoming crazier by the minute. Here's why:

Last week a 14 year old boy was found dead in the woods. Today I heard what the reason was he was beaten to death, the 14 year old offender was in love with the same girl as the boy who died. How sick?! And you know what people (complete strangers) are saying? That the girl (13 years old) is to blame for this, because she made them fall in love with her. Come on!

I open my igoogle just a few minutes ago and there's the latest (horror) story. Yesterday a man was stabbed to death in the New York subway because of a seat. The victim had his bag on the seat next to him and refused to remove it when someone wanted to sit on that seat because there were enough free seats (apparently the subway was only half full). The offender then started to stab the victim multiple times.
Why? Why not remove the bag? Why not choose an empty seat to begin with? Why if the person doesn't remove the bag choose a different seat? Why on earth are you carrying a knife for anyway?

Why just not treat people the way you want to be treated? That way the world would hopefully be a better place.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

oops forgot to post (business as usual)

So I clicked save instead of publish on Tuesday, just before I shut down my laptop. But here's the rant anyway.

Life is going as usual, school school school. I've managed to fit in two birthdays the last weekends, so I've catched up with most of my friends. The next time I'll see them is probably on my birthday (3 weeks).

The teachers are giving us loads of stuff to do but at the sometime nothing at all. The deadline is known, Dec 18th, but we can't really start yet, which is really frustrating, because you know you're going to be uber-stressed in a few weeks time.

Right now I'm giving up my free day to work on the project. Well...Tuesday is class free but most of the times I'm completely stuffed with schoolwork, like today but we have to start the project and that leaves me giving up my free afternoon. I'm soooo not feeling it, I would like to do some other courses but I don't think I'll be able to manage that today.

The things that I am able to do for the classes are taking longer than expected. For instance for Finance I've had all this stuff before but the teacher just gives us less data and I was staring at one of the assignments for over half an hour before I knew how to calculate it. Dad and little brother couldn't help me either and they're both good at finance too. I know you're all thinking why didn't you just give up and start the next assignment, well...I knew I was able to find the answer, I just didn't know how. None of my classmates know by the way, they are already crying for help because nothing makes sense. So I think I have to schedule a few tutoring classes, which will be good but then again it will take up a lot of time. And I'm not sure if I have that time, since I already know how to do everything. If I help them pass one course and because of that fail another, well....that's not good. I need to make sure that I pass everything. So they'll just have to wait and see if I'll have time for them.

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Going under

I survived last week, but only barely. I had decided not to study for the exam on Thursday, that way I would have enough time before Tuesday to focus on the Tuesday morning exam, and would leave me with Wednesday and Thursday to study for Friday.

On Tuesday I get to class, late. Well...actually, after Monday's exam I get to the station and see that my train is cancelled for unknown time. The only way to go home is to get a bus, but not one going straight from this station to my station, no the bus has to pass all the stations it always passes. So I would first take a bus from A to B, 1,5 hours, B to C, 1.5 hours, C to D 1 hour. And if you have motion sickness, that really isn't an optiion. So I had to wait, luckily I had schoolstuff with me, but I came home at 5pm instead of 12.

One of my friends said Hope your train rides tomorrow. And I was like, well...we have our exam at 10.30, I'm at the station before 9 (train is supposed to leave at 9), so then I have over an hour to get to school, and I only need an hour. She was ok that's good.

On Tuesday morning, I get up 30 min earlier than I need to get up, I was awake and figured I could use the extra time to revise. When I'm completely done with my morning ritual, I pack my bag (that morning it was around 8.15), I checked my schedule to see what room I have to be in, and see that the exam starts at 9.30. Oh, that meant that I had to be in the train at 8. But we can be 30 min late for the exam and I would only be 5 min late, hopefully.

I called my friend to tell her that I would be late, and that she could have warned me that the exam wasn't at 10.30 but at 9.30, well...she didn't know, she also thought it was at 10.30. Ah well...she would be on time and notify the teacher. Then the train stops change, normally it's an intercity and only stops at the few big cities, but because of the accident the day before, it would stop at all stations in between as well. And there goes my exam, oi.

Well...I got lucky the bus was a bit late so I managed to catch it and be only 15 min late. I looked at the exam and thought I should have missed it, because I didn't know any of the questions. The teacher had mentioned that the models in his lectures and some chapter from the book were the most important, so I studied them and you could ask me anything about any of those models. It had just slipped my mind that we also had articles that accompagnied every workshop, so I had read them once for class but I hadn't studied them and most were about a model anyway. Well...the teacher asked very specific questions about those articles. Most people had no clue what he was asking.

The girl sitting in front of me gets up 45min after the exam started. That's fast, but most of the time I'm also one of the first to leave. So I didn't give it much attention.
Later when we're studying with a group for the afternoon exam, one says She just walked out, she had only written half a page or so (not nearly enough to answer even 3 questions). Doesn't she know you have to have at least 35% to be allowed to do a resit? And I and all the other went euhm...WHAT!!!

Previous years you had to have 55% correct for a pass. This year it's 60%, under normal circumstances that is perfectly doable (I normally go for 70%, don't try to compare it to the US system, it just doesn't work), but with too much to do for all courses that just managable. But now we also had to have at least 35% to even be allowed to do a resit. Jeez. So long for my exam on Thursday and Friday :s.

I studied mostly for the one on Friday and did minimum for Thursday because I knew that there was no way I'm going to pass, so hopefully with minimum studying and creative answers I would be able to get 35% right. Well...I did the exam, and I'm not counting on it but I might have actually passed it. It was just sooo simple, and if I had done just a bit more I would be sure that I'd passed.

The one on Friday was also doable. At least this teacher already mentioned the models you needed to use for the question in the question (not like the one on Tuesday), but you have to completely explain all models. I think I have managed at least 50%, I know that's not 60% but this exam will be combined with a paper (deadline the Friday before Christmas), and I usually get 70% on those which is 60% on average.

As soon as the exams were over I had to start a project with a deadline this Tuesday. Well...I rewarded myself with visiting a friend, I was in need of some rest and no school thoughts (well....that didn't really work since her thesis is on stuff I had to learn for these exams, so I could help her a bit with giving names for models and sources).

Yesterday my brain just didn't work. I had managed to get everything non-school related done before 12 (that includes sleeping in), but there I was was, sitting in front of my notebook with my schoolbooks and just nothing.

So I only have today, and I'm sort of procrastinating. The paper is only 10 pages but the teacher said that it would be difficult to stay within those 10 pages (although it's allowed to be a few more but anything over 15 won't be read). And I soooo don't want to do this anymore.

It's not that I can't handle it, I'm managing, sometimes almost having panic moments/nervous breakdowns, but I'm handling it. But the thing is, I would love to just have one day, one day completely free of school. Not only just relaxing and doing nothing for school but also not having that little voice in your head going it would be smart if you'd do something for school, you know it's going to be tough if you do nothing. Because right now, I have the feeling I'm going under and that I'm not coming up to catch enough breath before going under again.

This whole paper should have just not been there. They just gave it before the Autumn break (only studying for exam week) and it has to be done after the examweek, so only 2 weeks. And those 2 weeks no one had any time at all (everyone still had to start this weekend).

This weekend should have been completely relaxed, done with one period, not yet started on the next. A weekend where you could destress and mentally prepare yourself for the next challenge.

Although there's some good news. the next examweek is after the Christmas break, so 2 weeks of studying instead of 1. And I've checked and we can only have 3 exams.
But with good news there's most of the time also some bad news, only 3 exam mean at least 5 papers to write (got 8 courses), and those deadlines are all Friday 18th Dec. Only 6 weeks. (but that also means, only 6 weeks till Christmas).

Another reason for me going under. In October I wanted to go a month without snacking, which I gave up after 2 weeks, since it didn't help. And I still have no idea why not? Instead of loosing weight I'm gaining weight. I know I haven't moved a lot the last 2 weeks, because I was too busy with school but that also means that I haven't been getting up to get snacks. I gained 2 kilo's, how on earth is that possible?

So with the new school period starting tomorrow, I'm going to stop snacking again (at least till Christmas) and try to do extra exercises every day for 30 min (I already cycle for 30min (but that's from getting to the station and back) and walk 30 min (since the damn train is delayed and I miss my bus) on top of all the walking daily do). This needs to work. I can't start dieting, I'm a too picky eater for dieting.

Now I really have to get to work on my paper, ugh.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Nervous breakdown

No I'm not having a nervous breakdown. I'm just allowing myself to have one. I have the feeling that I'm going to fail all my courses. But I'm not doing the nervous breakdown thing, it won't help so why do it?

In my stuff of one of the courses I found a test exam I haven't done yet (not that we have access to the answers somewhere but at least I can try and then check it with the book). And I couldn't even answer the simplest question. Alarm bells going off.

And while I'm studying one of the courses, another one keeps popping up. Because they use the same terms but explain it differently, or it's exactly the same but just with different terms. And oh dear if you're using the wrong term for the wrong exam. Again alarm bells going off.

And that I have the feeling that I've been doing nothing but studying this week but at the same time haven't done a thing at all. Some more alarm bells going off.

You know what? I'm not having a nervous breakdown, I don't have the time to have a nervous breakdown. And what if I fail all my courses? I'll just do it again at the end of Jan. Hoping that I've passed the next set of courses at the beginning of Jan (so I won't have to do 11 resits).
I have chances and options, so there's no need for me to have a nervous breakdown.

And from next Monday on, I'm just going to work a little bit harder so I won't be doing two weeks of studying in the Christmas break, because I can't do this last week again.

Luckily for me, one of my friends/classmates thinks the same way. Which means that we're going to work together. Well...not completely together because that would only result in doing nothing except chatting. But we'll both read the stuff assigned, and one makes a summary immediately of course A and the other of course B, so we have our summaries ready before the Christmas break and we only have to study our summaries instead of the whole book and making the summaries.

Okay, I'm not having a nervous breakdown. I'll do fine. I'll survive next week. I'll go for 3 out of 5.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Autumn break?

Officially I have this week off from school because of the autumn break. But I can't see I'm having a week off, I've been studying my ass off and it's not funny. I've got 5 exams next week, and I'm only going to learn for 4. It's not that I don't want to study for all 5, but I just don't have the time. And of course even those 4 are working on my nerves.

I thought I could do 5 chapters of marketing in 1 day, so far (it's already 4.30pm) I've done only 2. So I still have 3 to go before bed. Yup not funny. I had planned the evening free (so work till 5/6pm which means I should be superwoman to be able to reach todays goal).

This just means that I have more chapters to do tomorrow, because on Thursday I have planned to study for another exam.

Ow and we also have a project due during next week, which they just handed out to us last Wednesday, but I need my dad for that (it's for his company) so I can't start just.

My schedule for the rest of the week
Wed: study exam 2
Thursday: study exam 5
Friday: study exam 5
Saturday: make project
Sunday: study exam 1
Monday: do exam 1, study exam 2 and 3
Tuesday: do exam 2 and 3, study exam 4 (maybe 5 instead of 4 depends on how the studying goes on Thu and Fri).
Wednesday: study exam 4 (or 5)
Thursday: do exam 4, study exam 5
Friday: do exam 5, make project

Soooo not funny. How can they call this a break? I'm really in need of one. But as soon as the exams are over, our next courses begin. And we have more courses next block. Although I have no clue how since we don't have any books left to study (maybe handouts?) and we've got the complete booklist of the whole year not only one block (we've got 4 blocks per year).

Okay, back to my studying.

Friday, October 16, 2009

I can breathe again

So I made my deadline :D!

I handed everything in yesterday at 5pm and e-mailed the stuff this morning at 10. Woohoo.

Now on to the next deadlines (Tuesday and Friday).

But having finished this project was the worst, it took up most my time and now I am able to breathe again. I didn't do anything for school last night, which is a first this week.

Enjoy your weekend!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I gave up

Normally I'm not a quitter, but this time there was no other option.

I hate to be on a scale, so I don't do it often, but when you're trying to lose weight, you sort of have no other option. So I get on there and there's a difference of a kilo (in 12 days). Well...since I haven't been snacking or eating more (I didn't eat anything instead of my snacks), you'd think that it was a positive difference, wrong, I'm over 1 kilo heavier than when I started on the 1st. How on earth is this possibile? So I gave up not snacking, I'm not gonna snack much, but when I get gggrhrhrrred because of school I'm getting myself some chocolate.

Because of course school got more grrr-ed. We had 3 deadlines for Friday, I've got 2 finished, and I'm working on 1. Well...now got 2 removed (teacher's word) to Tuesday, guess which 2? The ones I've already finished.

And on top did we get another big amount of stuff to do before next week. Marketing communications plan, an academic skills essay (have no clue exactly what, I'm not starting until I have the deadline done), and a strategy for a company: roadmap to e-business. So byebye relaxing weekend. Not that it was going to be relaxing since I still have amounts to read and learn before the exams the week after. But now it's just more stressful.

Well...I'm back to creating stories, since I have no clue what to type anymore and it definitely doesn't make sense. Only tomorrow and I've still got 7 pages left to fill.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Oh dear

So transcribing the interview is taking me waaaay longer than I expected. Thank god I was the interviewer and not the interviewee since I can talk a mile a minute (well...I can, and almost alwyas do), and now I only had to ask questions.

The teacher said it would take 1 hour to transcribe 10 min, maybe with slow talkers. It took me 2 hours! That's not 6 hours of transcribing but 12. It's 2.5 minute per 30 minutes, that's NOT funny.

Another oh dear. Grandma asked me if I was available next Saturday, and when I said yes, she told me she was taking me and one of my cousins out for dinner then. Ai there go my bonus points for not snacking. And what's worse, well...worse can't say it's a bad thing but it is for the trying to lose weight thing, I also have a dinner on Friday. Maybe I have to continue the not snacking until Christmas, oh boy, that's never gonna work. There's my birthday and my two best friends birthdays in between. Oops, maybe I have to try to throw the exercising in as well. But were do I get the time to go exercising? I don't even have time for friends. And I'm sorry but that's more important than exercising.

Well...I'm back to my interview (blegh), just 6 more hours to go (blegh x2)

Thursday, October 08, 2009

I need chocolate, ice cream, cookies

I need to blow of some steam.

I am working on a literature review for my topic. Well...I have never written a literature review and have no idea how it is written. So I do some googling, read the chapters in books we've got and the outline of the assignment. I still don't have an exact idea how to write it, so I just start reading the literature I have found on my topic.

After a few days I still know nothing. Oh I have read the articles and they will be of some use when I am doing my dissertation but I am not a step closer in writing my literature review. Then I just start systematically, I type the topics that we receive marks on in word as the structure of the literature review. And I have the feeling that I need to thoroughly read all the literature and compare, combine and comment on that, using quotes, theories and models. Since I still have no idea where to begin and the deadline is only a week away (I know most people start at the last minute and I still have a week, but this is only part of that deadline), I have a small breakdown. I e-mail my tutor and ask her if she has time to meet me this afternoon, although she has to calculate my travelling time (I live an hour away from school). She replies within a few minutes if I cannot call or explain what's wrong via e-mail. Phone is always easier so I call.

And guess what? I was already doing stuff for next term (Nov/Dec/Jan) and the third therm (Jan/Feb), I didn't need to go in-depth, I need to have a broad sense of what possible directions are that my research can follow. Ok, so meltdown is over. But I had to start from scratch since before starting the literature review we had to do a mindmap and fishbone structure and I did those before I had the final outline of my topic. First it was internal communication, now it was changing internal communications to fit with the change in the business life cycle of the company.

So while my first plan was to have the literature review finished on Monday, and that got adjusted when I had (read: needed) a relaxing weekend to Wednesday. But Wednesday afternoon I had to start from scratch. In the evening I had my new mindmap and fishbone structure. Since this morning I am looking for more literature because of course I limited my choice to where I wanted the research to go instead of keeping all my options open. And now I am again filling the structure in word. But bleep finding enough primary sources (like articles, thesis, studies) is hard. I have enough books I can use and that are new and up-to-date. But the assignment says 10 primary sources, 5 secondary and 3 tertiary. Well...the last two are already done, the first one I'm halfway. And I've done my search strategy. I'm working on my findings, being critical on the found information (but since a few are books we use in class, they can't complain that I'm making use of them).

And with this whole stress and deadline, I am craving for chocolate or ice cream, or anything junk food but I am not going to, I'm keeping up my 31 days (8 down, only 23 more to go :S).
Ok with the exception of Dutch liqourice since I have a sore throat, and I am not able to finish any of the other throat "candy".

And I'm going to continue with my research since I also have to do an 1 hour interview and transcribe it. And then label, code and analyse it. All before next week starts, because according to my tutor we get a bunch of new assignments and little projects to manage :S.

Monday, October 05, 2009

Day 5

So it's already the fifth day of the month, and I've already caved. Well...only once and just because I have been having a lot of different parties over the weekend and they started to notice that I wasn't eating anything (there weren't any healthy snacks). And if I say I'm "dieting" or "cutting back on sweets", they all start saying that I'm not fat and that I shouldn't diet. Well...I'm not feeling comfortable in my own body anymore but I would if I could just lose a few pounds. But I didn't feel like going into that discussion with them, because I always get a tirade if I even say that I want to lose an ounce. So I took a handful of crisps and they lasted for a few hours, just nibbled on them. So I think it's justified, and I'm keeping it up for the rest of the month.

On Friday we had a happy/crazy bus driver taking us from school back to the train station. People always enter the bus, take a seat or when there are no seats left, stand but never walk past the door. So on Friday loads of people wanted to enter the bus but the first few that had to stand blocked the path for the others. The busdriver took the mic and said We're going to do some gymnastics, everyone look to the back of the bus, then put your left foot forward and then your right. The people who are good at this may even try to do both feet at the same time. Which of course resulted in a bunch of laughs. And he was even friendly enough to say Happy weekend when we left the bus at the train station.

In the evening I had the first party. The birthday girl turned 18. She wanted to have a second pair of earrings for years, but her mother didn't want her to, so her mother told her that she could get them when she was 18. We haven't heard her talking about those second set of earrings for quite some time, but on Friday morning, she woke up and said Mom we're getting my second pair of earrings today. Mothers, of course, wasn't happy. But the birthday girl got them.

I was planning on going to bed on time in the weekend. But bedtime on Friday was later than expected. We (my dad and I) were at the 18 year olds party (not for friends, just for friends and friends of the family) and at some point I checked the time, it was 01.18. So I had to get my dad to go home (I was driving but I needed to get him home too), but before we were home and in bed it was 2.
On Saturday I was invited for the 18 year olds birthday bash for her friends. Even though I'm almost 6 years older, I thought why not, change of faces. And I had to be up til 1 to pick up my parents, they had a family reunion. The birthday party was fun but the later it got, the worse the music got (youtube.com search for Dora is dirty, it only lasts 23 sec but they put in on repeat). So I left to get my parents a bit earlier, because of my grandma I know most of the family anyway (well...I know the names and the stories, don't know the faces). Well...that party was supposed to end at 1. But since they haven't seen each other since forever everyone was still there at 1, or half past 1, at 2 most people were leaving. I ended up in bed at 2.15, so much for going to bed on time this weekend.

I really need to go back to my studying, I have to write a literary review and I still have no clue how to write such a thing, so I'm first doing some research on that. I wanted to finished that off today but since I didn't do anything for school in the weekend I still have to start, so I hope to have it finished on Wednesday.

Thursday, October 01, 2009

A month without....

So I've been trying to lose some weight for quite some time. And every time I think I'll start this Monday, or I'll start tomorrow. But then something happens and I don't start on Monday or tomorrow. But now I'm really going to start.

From today, 1 October, I will not have any form of candy/snacks for a month. So no sweets, chocolates, cookies, crips, nothing for a month. Although I will still start the day with bread and chocolate spread, since a girl just needs her daily chocolate fix, and well...I can't deprive myself of everything. That will make it only harder to obtain the no snacking. Of course I'm allowed to have healthy snacks, but that's sort of a given.

Hopefully I can keep this up, and next month I'll start to do some exercises as well. I'm just too busy with school this month to exercise. And I know it's never the right time to start, but I have to do it step-by-step and not everything at once. So first the snacking, and then the exercising.

I'm already craving for something yummy, but that will just have to be an apple instead of something unhealthy. Good thing that I love fruit.

Let's see how this goes. Wish me luck.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Grrr notebook

(Warning, this post is a long rant)

So....in my last post I was complaining about the keys on my brand new notebook. Well...it got worse, way worse. Because first it was only on blogger, and in the evening it also started in my e-mails. So I looked up the number for the support desk and gave them a call (they are open till 8pm).

Are it specific keys that aren't working? No.
Do you have the possibility of attaching an external keyboard? Yes.
Does this keyboard work? No.
Turn off your computer and restart it, but while restarting press f12. It doesn't work, my f12-key needs to be used together with the function key to get the f12, and I did press them together but it's just restarting.
Well....hold down the function key while you turn on the computer and then press f12. Nope doesn't work either (I was already loving this :S).
What if you press all 3 keys at the same time? Computer is doing something, or at least it's making a bit of a noise, but the screen is sort of frozen. But I'll turn on the computer again and try again. .... It's working, I'm getting a blue screen with some kind of test.
(After clicking to get through some screens) You need to go to the test to test all the keys. Ok, I'm doing that now. It's working perfectly fine.

By this time it was already 8pm so he made an appointment for a call back to check what we should do next since it wasn't the hardware but the software. I asked him what would have happened if it was the hardware. Then they would have send me a new keyboard, which I would have to put in my notebook myself. Euhm....it's not like you can do that in a second, you first have to unscrew the back (bottom) and then get everything out and then remove the keyboard and put the new keyboard in. No way am I going to do that. And as soon as I unscrew my notebook, I will loose my guarantee (and I have paid for 4 years). So I was definetely not going to do that. But it wasn't necessary since it was a software related problem.

On Wednesday evening the guy calls back and he wants me to put the recovery disk in. Euhm...I have made back ups of my files and documents but what about my programmes? We have the office 2007 for only 3 computers and mine was no.3, what will happen? He didn't know, he knows that my whole notebook would be cleared so that programme would be gone, but he didn't know if I was able to re-install office 2007. Great, I have a helper who knows less than me :s. If I had know that he wanted to put the recovery cd on, I would have done that on Monday evening, and not wait till Wednesday. He explained how it works (jeez it's not that difficult) and that it would take an hour or so and then I would have to install the drivers. So I asked him if he would call me back in an hour. Did you know what his response was? I don't thinkg so, more people are paying to get a service from us. I know but he just mentioned that it was quiet, and I'm paying too. And a notebook of not even 2 weeks old isn't supposed to have failures yet. So I told him I would expect him to call back in an hour, and if something happened before that (which i couldn't fix, although i didn't tell him that), I would give him a call. After half an hour everything is done. Then I'm starting the drivers disk, and it automatically takes some drivers but it left quite some undone. So I started doing them one by one manually, then for my network card driver, I had 4 options, no idea which one I needed. I know it's a general driver disk because every computer is different and it would be unefficient to make a personalised one for every customer. But none of the drivers worked, I got the "not compatible for the found software/hardware", so I gave the guy a call. And he said well...you have to download it from our website. Euhm...I have another computer here with internet but what if I hadn't? Of course he didn't have an answer for that. I went to their website, put the correct driver on usb and tried to install it on my notebook. Bamm "not compatible". The guy was completely lost he didn't have a clue what to do (ow great, it's your job to know). He told me that since it was almost 8pm (he called me at 6.15 or so) he needed to schedule a call back, and if I could install a different driver which would able me to connect to the internet with cable (instead of wireless), I suspected that this was coming so I'd already downloaded that driver too. But no it wasn't working either.

I scheduled the call back for this morning at 10am, so he would have until 8pm to fix this mess.
But since I hate being not able to use my own stuff, I was going back and forth on Wednesday evening, trying all kinds of things, and I don't know how or why but all of a sudden the drivers that weren't installing before, were installing now. So I fixed it, yay!

Yesterday after a long day of school, I downloaded and installed all my programmes again, including office 2007. And it was functioning as before.

This morning I was expecting a call at 10am. I gave him my home phone number (he had my mobile number in the register) since it's easier to put a bigger phone between your ear and shoulder. At 10.30am my mobile phone rings. A different guy from the support desk. I told him that I had fixed it myself but that with the windows updates it says something about a production failure, the computer was already restarting so I have no idea what it was about. But the next time this happens, I'm requesting the pick up service so YOU guys can fix it. And I told him that it would be useful if all drivers would be on the driver disk, and there should be more cds with programmes on it, because when I got this notebook it included several programmes and I had to download all of them. If it's included with the notebook, have it on a disk.
I could tell that this guy had more knowlegde and experience, and he said that they had gotten more complaints about this (so why hasn't it been solved?). And that he got my frustration and that I would go to their website the next time and e-mail them, e-mails go to higher management and they can actually schedule a pick up, or a new computer. But it could take up to a week before I would get a reply.
I was checking the specific page he mentioned and it said that if you e-mail, you would have a response within one workday.

But I'm hoping that I won't have to use that.

Ok. Back to the few 100 pages of homework.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Keep breathing

Can't believe I haven't posted in over a week.

I'm still busy as hell though. This weekend I thought that I finally had caught up on my schoolwork. But then I remembered the projects that are due half October, which I haven't even started. As a consolance, none of my classmates have started it either. But I already have no time left for funstuff, how am I going to fit these projects in? I need more hours in a day and more days in a week (but then again, who wouldn't?).

Since a week or 2 I finally have a new computer. The old one was 5 years old and that's quite old considering the people around me buy a new one every few years. Although I'm not completely satisfied with the new one yet. The keyboard is already getting annoying. Sometimes it just doesn't take all the keys I type, and I have to go back and retype, slowly. And seeing as how I'm able to type almost as fast as I'm able to talk, this is quite, not extremely, annoying.
For now it's only every now and then and only in blogger (typing this post and commenting on fellow bloggers), but as soon as it's getting more frequent, I'm calling the computer company. I need a keyboard that fully functions.

I'm already getting stressy for my exams at the end of October. I know it's over a month away but normally we would get multiple choice if we had a lot of theory to cover, now we get open questions. This wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't that much, but I've got a page of 3000 to remember for the exams. And I don't only need to apply the theories in the books, no I also need to be able to say who's theory it is. And for marketing we have a dozen or so theories that are alike but all by a different marketeer. I'm sooooo going to fail those exams. But I just have to keep breathing.

Inhale 1 2 3 4 exhale 1 2 3 4 inhale 1 2 3 4 exhale.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Awards

Way way way back M.E. gave me a couple of awards. And I'm finally cleaning up my "act" (and procrastinating with schoolwork, come on it's Friday evening) and posting those awards. Thanks M.E.!

So I pass them on to everyone who is still reading my blog. Please let me know if you are accepting your awards.

(P.S. The post below is about my roundtrip)

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Finally the roundtrip post

So finally here it is, the post on the roundtrip in Scotland (in the beginning of August, I know I'm ashamed of myself).

Let's see euhm......no just kidding.

So we left on a Saturday. We left around noon and we had our drive all the way up to Inverness. According to google maps and my friends gps system, the drive would last about 4 hours. We had to be at the B&B before 6pm, because they didn't do late check-ins.

I knew what we would be passing along the way so if I would see the name of the town which holds an interesting site, I would mention it, since we had enough time, right? Well....guess again. The gps system already send us the wrong way in Edinburgh. We had to leave the city north but it directed us south. I wasn't really paying attention to where we were going since I thought the gps thingy would send us the right way. So when we're in a part that I know is on the south side of Edinburgh, I'm asking my friend where the hell he thinks he's going since we have to go north. He's just following the navigation.

So half an hour later we're finally on the right way, on the north side of Edinburgh, where you have this amazing railroad bridge. It's pretty old (I know, I should do my homework on this, but it's been there before there were toilets in houses, because we were wondering how on earth they can built such a bridge but don't "invent" inhouse toilets until later).


After taking some pics of this bridge, we head further north. Me, having had little to no sleep the previous night (I was at the Kid's), fell asleep probably 10 minutes after leaving this site.
So my friend was enjoying the scenery all by himself. Of course I don't sleep constantly (I wake up for 10 minutes in between) and I notice that we've passed one of the more interesting sites we could have visited (can't remember what though, yes I know I should have written it down). But I notice the time and see that we don't have much time if we do want to stop (only an extra hour or so) because of the getting out of Edinburgh debacle. Then we hit roadworks, and it slows us down big time. We do get to Inverness on time, I believe it was 5 to 6.

We walk into Inverness for dinner. There are a lot of people on the road but all the stores are closed and no one is really heading towards restaurants, so it was a bit difficult to find a place where there were enough people inside. We found a pub, we got food, went back to the B&B and watch an episode of Supernatural.

The next morning we had breakfast, checked out, and headed towards Loch Ness. On the way to Loch Ness I made a call, and we got free tickets for a Loch Ness cruise (does my work come in handy). The cruise was ok. We didn't get that much information on the monster but we did have a nice scenery in typical Scottish weather.


After the cruise we continued our trip to Isle of Skye. We arrived at the B&B around noon, and then toured around the island. We had so much fun. The roads turned into one lane roads, and very curvy, sometimes you drove through cut out rock, and water was coming from the rocks too. Then there were loads of sheep on the road too. So much grass and they chose to stand on the road, weird sheep. There was one Paris Hilton sheep. I was going to take pics of the things we come across on the road (I even made a pic of people walking on the road, they looked at me if I was crazy). And there was one sheep who looked up as soon as I had my camera adjusted to the right settings, and continued grazing when I made the pic, not when I put my camera down, but when I had pressed the button.


Since it was a Sunday, we had trouble finding a place for dinner. When we finally did, the restaurant filled up in no time, apparently everyone on the road was looking for a place to eat.

In the evening we watched another few episodes of Supernatural (it's the only serie, we both watch, I'm not able to watch a few episodes of top gear, and I don't want to hurt him by making him watch One Tree Hill or Greys Anatomy, didn't have any unwatched eps of Bones left).

The next morning we leave and head back to Edinburgh. We did do some sightseeing from a distance because we passed something that was still closed and had bus and busloads of people waiting in front of the doors, it wasn't even interesting to stop.

When we were back in Edinburgh, we went out for a dinner and after that to the regular Monday evening poker night. We had great fun. Me and my friend didn't cheat (although communicating in Dutch what we had would have been easy). After the poker we went partying, for a bit then, since everyone was quite tired (including me), and it was my last night with the Kid, who casually said that he had to get up at 9 for work. Argh!

So that was my vacation story.
Now it's time to get ready for school. Pfff....I'm already done with school and I've got the feeling that I'm so behind on the work that should have been done, and it's only the second week, ai. Ah well....it's not even a year and I'm done (deadline for my dissertation is 11 June), and hopefully it gets a bit easier since I already have the topic and company for my dissertation. Got to run.

Any questions about my roundtrip, let me know. Or if you have any other questions, let me know too.

Monday, September 07, 2009

Swamped

So I've been back to school since last week. And although my second day of school already had no classes scheduled, it wasn't a relaxing day. I've been working from 10am to 10pm to finish all the homework we received on Monday and that we had to finish before Wednesday. Nice beginning of the schoolyear :S. Since then I've only been able to have 5 minutes break in between school and studying, and I've been using those to read your blogs than to finally write my vacation post. But I will. I'll just schedule some writing time in my overfull schedule. But it can take a week since I'm more interested in your lifes than in mine. (And the worst part is, I've been back in the Netherlands for a month, and I still haven't written a decend post).

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Another sorry

I haven't had time to do anything I wanted to do, because grandpa is getting worse and worse.

I hoped to do some summer cleaning, shop, see friends, not feel sorry for myself for missing Edinburgh. Ow and of course post about my little vacay.

But that's not happening. I'm at grandpa's most of the time, or I'm at home, calling doctors, senior organisations and what not, and waiting for them to call back.
And since most of my time is spend waiting, I'm able to think, think and think some more. Which isn't good because that makes me miss Edinburgh even more. I had my whole life set up there, and I was doing just fine with all my social things. And now I'm back and I'm doing nothing sociable. Ok, I'm needed helping grandpa, but I'm not working out anymore (my lunchbreaks), or seeing friends (my evenings), I'm not even walking everywhere (if I needed to go from A to B in Edi, I'd walk, here I take the car). And it's making me a bit depressed.

Just less than 2 weeks, school will start again. Maybe then I'll get back into a routine and Scotland will be forgotten (athough I highly doubt that). I hope to post about my trip through Scotland before that, but right now it's off to gramps, yesterday he didn't want to go to bed, and now he doesn't want to get out. Sigh (I know I shouldn't but this is wearing me down. Today the time is reasonable, yesterday it was 4am).

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

postponing

So I wanted to have my Scotland trip post up and running a few days ago.

But life got in the way, or well...more like grandpa. He's not doing well, and he's calling us whenever he wants, regardless of the time, and we then need to come over. Yesterday it was 4.18am!! And it's not like we can do anything, we just have to sit there. He's too afraid to be alone.
So after a few of those early mornings (well...yesterday was the earliest yet), we had the doctor over in the morning, and the senior help in the afternoon, and now we're going to have to start the process of getting him into a senior care home. And of course, no one's available since it's summer break.

But I hope to be up and running with my post before the weekend (including some pics, like the paris hilton of sheep). I'll let my mom do nothing at grandpa today (if he calls, the phone has been quiet so far, so yay), and I'll do the house stuff. Cleaning and washing hasn't happened in a few days. I can't be non-productive for another day. I've got my whole room to clean up. I have already unpacked my bags (already last thursday, so the morning after i came home), but all my closets are bulking with stuff (mainly the one with clothes) so they need to be redone.

Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

new guy

So as I mentioned a few posts ago, there was the possibility of a new lover. I've known the guy for a couple of months now. I really have to give this one a nickname otherwise the story's going to be too confusing. Let's call him the Kid, because even though he's 35, mentally he's 7.

Well.....here's the complete and long story.

Two weeks ago on Friday I had a birthday party of a friend. It was all good and well, having fun and such. But the Kid had to go to another party but would text when he'd leave that one to join us where ever we were going to be. So half way through the night, we change pubs/clubs, put some people in taxis and send them off home. And there's this creepy guy that I'm unable to shake. So sort of as a rescue, I'm moving near the Kid, start talking to him, saying that this creep won't leave me alone. As the sweet guy he is, he puts an arm around me. And that sort of started things off.

After all pubs and clubs were closed, we went over to his place with a couple for food. Well...I just joined because I thought everyone was going. But in the end it was only me, him and another couple. And the only person wanting food was him. While food was being made, the girl fell asleep on the Kid's bed. Her boyfriend told us he would get her up. When the food was ready we went into the room, and they were both heavily asleep (so much for waking her up :S). Since we weren't getting them up, or at least not her (he got up for a smoke, ugh), we went to my place. I was like You have to walk me home anyway since I have no clue where home is, and when you're at my place you can crash since your bed is taken. So that's what we did, because the girl really wasn't getting up. Afterwards we figured out that she sort of left home straight after we left (I won, you guys left, now I'm going home to my own bed).

At my place we had some tea before heading off to bed. Bedtime was 7am, by the time we were asleep it was 9am. Nothing had happened at the point, we've just been talking about all sorts of stuff, and we cuddled up. We had "breakfast" at 5pm, and then send him off since he had another birthday party to go to. He would text me later if he was going out afterwards. He did text me (woohoo finally a guy who actually does what he says he's gonna do), but by that time I was already sound asleep. I woke up an hour or so later, and texted him back that I was asleep but that he was welcome to come over. He really came over, it was 4ish in the morning when I opened the door (how stupid was I?), and it wasn't until 7ish before we went to sleep. Still nothing happened. Breakfast was again at 5pm. We started making out around 3pm. It sort of became inevitable.

He texted in the late evening if I was joining the group to the club for a few drinks. Well...seeing as it was late and I had to get to work on time on Monday, I told him If you're still at the pub in my street when I pass I'll join otherwise it's bedtime for me. And it was bedtime for me, since I was walking from the other side of town home, and I got asked for directions and joining guys to the pub a few times too often (why can't a girl walk alone on a Sunday night at 11.45ish without being interupted?).

On Monday night, he completely blew me off since he needed his sleep. I was euhm...I'm working tomorrow, don't you think I need sleep too? Apparently he didn't because we both ended up in our own beds. On Tuesday I got a text saying that he got up on time to work on his resume and that he was sitting in the pub in my street. So after dinner I joined him, his resume was still empty. I hate putting things of and procrastinating, so I was being a slave driver. Not letting him check websites, e-mail or even go out for a smoke (yeah I know, this guy smokes but it's not that bad since he really smokes thin thin thin roll ups, he's almost only smoking the paper). In 2 hours he was completely done. I don't think he liked me much at that point but at least he got it done. We were supposed to go to a pub after but he first needed food (duh) and a shower, so he would pick me up in an hour or so. Well...an hour or so later, I'm off to bed, because the voice in my head finally won over the devil and angel on my shoulder and told me that the sensible thing to do was going to bed because of work the next day. Finally at 1am (so another 40 min later), I get a text saying that he's on his way to pick me up and if he can still tempt me to go out (I already texted him that I was heading for bed, when I was heading for bed), I texted back if I could tempt him to join me in bed. Nope. He did send a text a few hours later that he needed his "blanket", the stupid idiot I am, I actually open the door a few minutes later (he passes my place on the way to his). And of course I'm not getting that much sleep that night, not that anything happened (except for making out) but well...with the making out and talking and annoying each other, you just don't get that much sleep (he came in at 3ish, and I had to get up at 8ish).

On Wednesday we only texted and I finally got a complete night sleep. Well...I was tired the whole day, and I didn't really have a reason to be tired because I did get a few hours of sleep everynight. And since I wanted to have a real reason to be tired I told friends I would join them at the club that night, I did want to make sure that I was away before the lock-in (at 3am it closes and friends are sometimes allowed to stay and drink for free while staff is cleaning up). But since most of them had been partying since Fridaynight only 2 were out on Wednesday. And they were talking too much guy stuff I left, and was in bed by 1. So that was a full 7 hours of sleep.

On Thursday I spend the night at the Kid's. Having to leave the next morning for work, and I had to catch my plane home staright after work. He did tell me about his ex, and that he was still sort of in love with her. Euhm....then why the bleep did you start things off with me? You know I was leaving in 2 weeks. I'm still waiting for an answer on that.

After my weekend home, the Kid picked me up at the busstop (he would have picked me up at the airport but then I would have needed to take the slow bus home, and me and busses is not a good combo, my stomach can't handle the stopping and going and stopping and going movement).

The friend I'm travelling with, arrived in Edinburgh on Wednesday. He's been sleeping in my bed alone. Since I've been going over to the Kid's every night. And he wanted me to stay for the weekend. But I was travelling with my friend. So I told him that we would see if I would come back for another week or so, after I've been home and fly back. But his old boss contacted him for work in August, which means he's making long days. And if I would fly to see him, I'm not ok with only seeing him at night. So we sort of said goodbye this morning. He's still amazing, and we're keeping in touch and it's only an hour flight. We'll see :'(.

On Friday everyone else figured out that the Kid and I were seeing each other, which resulted in a few hour interrogation from everyone. He wasn't there, and he's glad he wasn't there. I barely survived. Normally I would defend myself and have cheeky replies (if I'm able to think of one, being put on the spot like that), but since I'm leaving and he has to deal with them, I just kept my mouth shut. Apparently we've been dating for 2 months (really?..I believe I was stood up by a different guy 2 months ago, who's phone got "stolen"). When I told them we weren't, they were like It was inevitable; We've been expecting it for weeks. How come they all knew more than I did?? (although he once did say that he's been checking me out for weeks, so maybe they have picked up on that).

Ok...I believe this is it. Sorry for the long winding story. But that's all and I wanted to type it while it was still fresh, and not wait another week. First posting about my trip of last weekend, and then relaxing at home and stuff.

Have a good Tuesday!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Mode: travel

So...this will (probably) be my last post for at least a week.

I'll be flying home (Edinburgh) tonight, leaving my computer behind at home (the Netherlands). And I'll be back home (the Netherlands) probably on 5 August.

My farewell party at home (Edinburgh) is on Monday 3 August. Although my farewell at work will be this Friday! :D.

Finally the torture will be over. Although it's gonna be torture leaving.

I'll be checking (and maybe even leaving comments) on your blogs while at work, or if I have the chance at a friends house. But I won't have enough time to update you all on my life. I'll do that once I'm back (and it could even become interesting but I'm really not telling anything since I'm really really afraid of jinxing it).


This is going to be my "souvenir" of Edinburgh. If possible I would like to enlarge it for on my wall (now only to get the grey to blue).

Sunday, July 26, 2009

home

I'm home for the weekend. Already dropping some of my stuff off, and since I had a few free days left, I cashed them in. Well...I'm regretting that now. Well...sort of. I love being home. But at the same time, I'm going to leave Edinburgh in about a week (after return) and I really don't want to. After so many months, I'm finally all set up. I have most of my nights planned, doing fun stuff. Have to say no to the partying afterwards because of work the next day, but still it's all a good laugh.

I really should have stayed for another month, although school's already going to start at the end of August. But I would love to spend some more time with my friends and a possible lover (story will follow one of these days), and it's going to hurt leaving them behind.

On to regular Sunday at home stuff.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Spread the love award

Fellow-blogger Cybeel has won the award Spread the love. And I was one of the people who also got the award and task to spread the love.






And I'm passing it on to all the newly engaged, (almost) newly moms, newly moved, and everyone else.

Stella
Kbear
Sandy
Viv
Penny
Momma D
Peyton
M.E.
Jadeny
Liz

And everyone else (sorry I have to run otherwise I'm late, I'll update it with the others later).

Spread the love people!

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Boring life

I haven't posted over a week now. Wow. But I have absolutely nothing to tell. I am either completely swamped at work or I'm bored out of my mind.

I did run into the guy who stood me up the other day. And he said Hi. And I looked at him like Who are you? and continued walking. He was staring at my open mouthed. Don't know how much believed if I actually didn't recognise him, since we previously (before the cancelling) had a whole discussion that my mind was so good in remembering names and faces.

I ran into another couple of people. A group of Dutchies who thought they were the only Dutch people on the streets. Well...what would be the chance if you're walking in a foreign city on a Sunday at 11pm that you'd run into a fellow country(wo)man? Not big, but it happened. And the guy was saying in Dutch stuff like Hey honey, baby you feel like partying tonight, and more of those remarks. And I simply replied Don't underestimate the chance of running into a person who can actually understand what you're saying. The look on their faces, priceless :D.

Another week and I'm going home for a long weekend, before going back to my final week at work. I'm just going home to already get a part of my junk home and my laptop. I don't like leaving my laptop in the car while we're enjoying Scone Palace/Cruise Loch Ness/other activity.

Pfff...this is one of those days that's going to prove to be very very long.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

another week has passed

So tell me, who hasn't been watching the memorial of Michael Jackson just now? When did you break? I kept it dry until his little girl wanted to say something but she broke down crying.

I've finally been able to send my project to the teacher. Of course the teacher had to get on my nerves first. Thoughout my whole internship, his communication has been bad. It took him at least a week to respond to an e-mail.

I didn't try to send the project until Thursday evening, because I knew that as soon as I would send it, I would be like Ow I forgot this, ow I should have phrased it like that. But on Thursday evening I wasn't allowed to e-mail it. I got "session run out" or "not able to upload" when I wanted to attach my project. So because I was unable to send the project, I e-mailed the teacher asking for an alternative address. I send it again on Monday morning, I called Monday afternoon. The teacher was in and out of meetings the whole day, so the girl I had on the phone said Maybe you could send him an e-mail. Right, that's why I'm calling. So she tries to find the teacher and he says that I can leave my contact number so the teacher can call me back, I just told the girl that he should check his e-mail. And yesterday afternoon I got an e-mail, saying that I should just try again because it is supposed to work. *Sigh*, keep breathing, count to 10.

I've been trying since 8pm today to get it send, and now finally after so many tries, it was finally send (it's now 10pm).

Last weekend one of my Dutch friends visited me. We visited Carlton Hill (taking panoramic pictures) and climbed Arthur's Seat (taking more panoramic pictures), and had sort of a good time. I was cursing him for making me climb Arthur's Seat instead of walking.

When I have the pics on my computer, I'll post them, to let you all have a good view of Edi. I need a special programme to paste the pics together and photoshop it a bit (cutting off a part of the top or bottom to make the pics fit), and I deleted that programme a few weeks ago when I was cleaning up my laptop. Of course in the few years I had it on my computer I didn't need it, now that I don't have it anymore, I need it.

So another few weeks, and I'll be home again :D. I've booked the ferries and I've e-mailed a few B&B's (although that was on Monday and I haven't heard anything back yet, hmm I'll chase them tomorrow). I love Edi, I really do, but it's gonna be great to be back home.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Happy and sad

Woohooo I finished my schoolprojects. I'm so happy that it's finally over. No more schoolwork for this year. Only work and fun stuff.

I had planned to finish most of it on Friday, but of course that didn't work because of the sad sad news of MJ's passing. While doing my schoolwork I had the telly on, listening to (and watching of course) MJ's music. So I did most on Saturday, with of course Michael on in the background.

I've never met the guy and he wasn't making new music anymore, so I don't think a lot will change (at least not for me). It's not that his music and videoclips seize to exist now that he's no longer here. He left a great legacy behind, I don't think that there's a person in the world who hasn't heard of Michael Jackson and tried to Moonwalk. And hopefully the great things he did will be remembered and the negative will be forgotten.

To comment on the people who think it's great that I can travel by car through loads of different countries. Well....you guys can travel through a few states, that's sort of the same. When passing state borders you don't have to show your passport, when you're crossing European borders you don't have to show your passport either.

Ok, so tomorrow I'm going back to the gym, back to my programme, and trying to snack less, more fruit. Be healthier altogether. And hopefully losing a few pounds along the way.

Happy weekend, hope you all enjoyed it.

RIP Michael and Farrah.
Thursday was a bad day for the world.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Wednesday Weirdness

And another week has passed, and nothing exciting happened this week either.

I dropped my parents off at the airport last Friday :(. I won't see them again till half August, so this will be the longest period of not seeing a parent. But one of my friends will visit me next weekend and at the end of July my other friend will come and pick me up, and we'll travel through Scotland and France (and England of course but only in driving through no sightseeing).

Hopefully next week I'll have more info about my trip, because we're going to plan it sometime next week. We were supposed to plan it last Monday/Tuesday but men aren't good in dates. The friend who's coming to pick me up had to work the first few days of August so he couldn't come until the 5th, so we would do a few days Scotland before heading over to friends in France. Now the guy we'll be visiting in France said he would cover work for the one who's picking me up. But if he's working, he won't be going on holiday to France (imagine how mad his girlfriend, one of my bestest (i know it's not a real word) friends, was? Him screwing up their holiday together), so why should we go to France? It's all messy, but we'll figure it out one way or another.

Got a text from the guy yesterday. He's been texting me every few days. This text said: sorry i've not been in touch for a few days, but i've been busy. Do you have time to show me a good time sometime? x
I just texted back: You're not the only one who's busy. And it will you showing me a good time, not the other way round. But I'll text you when I have time.
Which will be never, at least not for hime. Can you believe him? He's the one that's screwing up and then I have to show him a good time?

Well...on to Wednesday Weirdness. Come play with us.

1.) To you, what makes the perfect body the perfect body?
The confident person inside the body. If you're not confident about your body, you're not getting the perfect body. Thinking you're there, gets you half way.

2.) What part of your body do you obsess about the most?
My bum and belly. But give me a few weeks and they'll be the way I want them. I'm starting my training again on Monday (just the gym).

3.) What makes a house a warm, welcoming, comfortable home?
The feeling you get when you walk into a house. And the house has to be filled, bit old fashioned. I don't like those completely modern livingrooms, they have no feeling, it's cold.

4.) What fabric feels sexiest against bare skin?
Silk and satin

5.) What is the lamest lie you have heard in the last month?
That my ex-date didn't have my number. Even if his phone was stolen, my dutch number was in his dad's phone, he has texts of me in his dads phone. if he said he was using a friend's phone instead of his own, they both had my number, and i don't believe both were stolen.

6.) What always makes you feel better when you're upset?
Talking to my mom, about anything.

Guy troubles: reading novels and watching romantic movies, although I'm wishing I had a guy like in the movies/books, I know that he's still out there for me.

And the books/movies also works for any other troubles.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Wednesday Weirdness

So I know that I should just kick him to the curb as AZ put it. But he's just so amazing when we're together, so I still haven't decided yet. I'm not texting him first. I'm letting him text me and then when I feel like it I'll text back.

I know I just shouldn't give him the light of day, but what if he's different now? And he'll not cancel and behave himself (i know he will when we're together). Pfff...I know, just say no, he's not worth it.

Since last week nothing has changed. Work is hectic at the moment, one of my groups that is coming in this weekend is causing me a headache, changing restaurants, hotelrooms and numbers just after I have changed the restaurants, hotelrooms and numbers from the e-mail 30 min ago.

So onto Wednesday Weirdness.

1.) Do you/Did you ever have a piggy bank shaped like a pig? What do you keep your spare change in?
Nope, I did have a piggy bank shaped in Sylvester (the Cat). And now my spare change is in my wallet. Don't have that much, don't like to walk around with big amounts of money in my pocket, so i just get little amounts from the atm machines. And otherwise I'll just use my credit card if I need to pay something.

2.) Be honest. Have you ever stolen anything before?
When I was little, I've probably stolen a candy.

3.) Would it be more awkward to be walked in on during sex by your parents or your children?
Don't know, don't want to find out.

4.) How comfortable would you be at a nude beach? Would you keep your clothes on, keep it modest or bare it all?
I don't know. I don't mind going to the saunas back home (completely nude) but a beach, don't know.

5.) Where is a place that seems fun and sexy to get it on at but in reality probably wouldn't work out very well?
I think the beach would be fun, sexy and romantic but I think it just can't work, all the sand, I'm already getting chills.

6.) Do you have sex less in the summer because of the hot temperatures?
Nope, maybe even more because of summer.

7.) Have you ever had a dream that was in black and white?
I don't know, at least none that I can't remember.

Bonus) When you have a naughty dream, most often is it usually your partner in the dream with you or someone else?
That's the sad thing, I can never remember what I dreamt, it starts out that I know it was a "naughty" dream but then it would already be with a blank face of the guy. And when I try to focus, everything disappears.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Advise needed: to believe or not to believe

So apparently no Wednesday Weirdness this week (since it's already Sunday I'm not expecting one either).

My parents are visiting so actually I didn't even have time to do a Wednesday Weirdness. At the moment they are somewhere in my tiny small apartment, but I needed to post anyway. I could really use some of your advise.

Yesterday I accidentally texted him instead of a friend.

Me:"Hi hun How are you? How was your week? Mine was as busy as previous week".
Him: "Don't want to be rude, but my phone got stolen last Saturday so who are you?"
Me: "The girl you stood up last Sunday."
Him: "Nic? I was hoping you'd text once i got my phone sorted."
Me: "Didn't your best friend have my phone number?" (his phone was messed up when we met so I'd given his best friend my phone number)
Him: "He deleted it."
Me: "You know where I live, and you knew I'd be home Sunday because I made plans with you."
Him: "I was in a bad mood and just going in to town to see if you might be home while you're out since it was already late when I was up." (it's 40 min bus and then 15 min walk to my place)
Me: "Well...what you gonna do about it?"
Him: "For 1 i'm not arguing about it. Want to meet?"
Me: "I don't want to fight either. My fam is here so I'm not free til Fri."
Him: "Cool, we'll work something out during the week."
Me: "Not cancel on me this time."
Him: "I never did last time nor did i meant to.
Me: "Think how i felt? Never heard from you. Thinking you didn't even had the guts to cancel on me".
He feels really really sorry. But he hasn't even been in town since last week.

So what should I do? Give him yet another last chance? Is this really a valid excuse? Will he get it right this time? Please help.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

I give up

I give up.

This week has been hellish. My Wednesday blog was about that he stood me up again, or well cancelled actually. He hadn't stood me up yet, until now. (I know, he sort of stood me up previous Sunday but he then said that he would call so we could make plans) He even called last night to confirm plans for today. He just didn't know what time we could meet since he didn't know what time he would be awake. But he would call me as soon as he'd be awake, that would probably be around 11am (I know I'm contradicting myself). I was coming down to his place and we were going to do something there but he would have to pick me up since I have no idea where to go.

Well...I'm still waiting, at it's now 6pm.

Not to let him be the person who has to call or text first, I give him a text at 2pm saying Sleepy head Aren't you awake yet? And then I tried to call him at 4pm. Nothing. So I give up.

We were supposed to meet on Friday and on Thursday he was already texting that he might have to work overtime. I told him that he was already making up excuses in case he was going to cancel. He said he wasn't going to. But of course he did. I told him that it was tonight (Friday) or goodbye. He texted me that he would text me when he'd get out of work because he didn't want it to be over. So at 9 he texts me that he's finally on his way home but that we're not able to meet because he's going straight to bed, but he would definitely have time for me on Sunday. I told him that Sunday would be really his last last chance. And now he even bleeped that up.

Roomie told me that I should not even bother setting him right if he indeed calls, I would just have to say you messed up, goodbye. My mom doesn't even think I should pick up the phone, or if I do I would have to be like [name} who? I don't know a [name].

But he is not the only reason I give up. My schoolwork. Argh!!
Yesterday one of my Scottish friends helped me with my project. Well....I hoped to be finished during the day but of course we both didn't have a clue what we had to do with the project (even after reading the mandatory chapters) but I did have an idea when I was back home at dinner time.

Ow he texted me that he was doing nothing during the day. And I texted back that I was working on school otherwise he would have been able to come over. Hmm I'm now starting to see that I'm really naive, I'm good enough when he has time or is "bored" but when something else comes up I get shoved aside, he's really just using me.

Okay so I have the things in my head what I want to write about. Every few pages I automatically saved what I had done. Then I was on a role for the next paragraph. I think I typed a page or 2. When I wanted to save it, Word got stuck and bye bye last few pages.

So I have to cancel a dinner with a friend on Monday. Because of course if my mind was fine (and not hitting itself because I've been so stupid to give the guy the benefit of the doubt over and over again) I would have probably been able to finish it today. But I haven't since my mind wandered.

Can I give up? Let me go to sleep and wake up on Wednesday night when my mum and aunt are going to be here? Because that means that I've made it through work (which is actually getting fun now I have my own groups in) and finished my schoolwork (I only need to type another 12 pages :S :S).

Well...I'm going to stare at my project for another few hours, maybe staring will make the right text appear.

Although I still have no idea when the deadline is since the teacher is not e-mailing back. How annoying.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Men! and Wednesday Weirdness

Men! What's wrong with them?

So I was supposed to have a date with my date last Thursday, he texts me the night before that we're still on. Then he texts me during the day that he has to go to Glasgow to pick some stuff up and if we can reschedule to the weekend. Fine!!

So on Friday I'm out with a friend and he calls me. He says he's going to Base (club) and if I want to join. Since I'm standing opposite of Base I'm looking where the hell he is because he said he was almost there. So I join him. And he's sweet and all. My friend had to work the next day so he has to leave. At the end of the night, we pass my house so I can pick some stuff up before heading over to his (mine is in town, his is out of town, 40 min on bus that's stopping every few seconds). Somewhere along the road he informs me that he has to work tomorrow morning. It's already 3am. By the time we're at his place it's 4. And of course before sleeping we make out, so I think it's about 5.30 before we go to sleep. His alarm was set at 7. Not funny, I was wide awake, him not so much. In the end he didn't get up until 8.30. I tried to wake him but gave up after a few tries since he had to work and not me, not my responsibility.

So when we say goodbye, I got his Sunday and he says he will call me as soon as work is over. That's at 1pm. So thinking that he would actually call, I had my phone near me from 1. I never heard anything from him until 10.30pm. And since I was getting pretty angry (I'm not demanding or anything but a text or call when you say you're calling would be nice) I left my phone in another room so I wouldn't stare at it, wanting it to ring. He calls me again at 1.30am saying that he tried to call me to go with him but since i was already in bed he would leave me alone and call me when he would wake up Sunday, probably around 2.

So Sunday comes and almost goes before I get a call. Me being the girl I am, was already getting paranoid, like he doesn't like me at all. But when we're together he's so amazing but when we're not it's more like out of sight out of mind. So frustrating. So I text him that I guess he's just not that into me and I can't believe he doesn't have the balls to say so. He gets back to me in the evening that he never got home until 1pm (he went to friends after the club) and that he just woke up, he needed to go to his moms bbq but he wasn't feeling well at all. Well...after so much partying I don't think many people would have survived. So I never got to see him Sunday.

We did have a text fight, saying that he was being an ass, and he actually admitting that he's a nightmare and that he lets friends down but doesn't mean it and he really likes me. I told him that he had to put a bit more effort in this, since I'm not able to do it on my own. And he told me he would. But of course he hasn't.

He texted me on Tuesday to say that he was so so sorry (yup double so, so I'm not sure if he's really sorry if it's just another excuse) but he had to work overtime so he wasn't able to make it tonight (he already had to work till 8), but he would make it up during the weekend.

I'm getting good at saying fine so I texted him Fine! Friday? dinner and a movie since you have to work Saturday. I get back (within a few hours, wow that's a first, except when i'm sending angry texts and him apologising) that he's free on Thursday and Friday evening was available too. He knows I have to work fulltime and I don't have any days off so why on earth would he think that I would be free on Thursday? I told him Friday was fine (i can do it without the ! :)). That was this morning. I do have a feeling that something (read: he) will screw it up again. And that will be the end.

I can't believe that I'm already giving him another chance. Normally I would have been long gone. But he really is amazing when we're together. He so likes me more than I like him. But at least I've given up on texting. I text one back and if I have a question I'll text again. Normally I would text just ask how his day has been, but since he's not able to answer those, i'm not able to send them anymore. It's his turn to try. Then I'll think about it. Because if I don't see him this weekend (it's definitely over), I won't be able to see him for another 2 weeks because my mother and aunt/dad are here and then it's only another 6 weeks for me in Scotland. And if he behaves I'm willing to see what I can do with my parents so I can fit him in for an evening, but only if he deserves it.

Sorry about that rant.

Okay back to business. Wednesday Weirdness (please click on it if you want to play too)
The questions are weirder than normal, and normally they're already pretty weird.

1.) If you had to either shop for your groceries in your underwear only (bra&panties or boxers/briefs/whatever) or run streaking through the mall totally naked for no less than 4 minutes, which will you pick?
The shopping in my underwear, it's not like I'm showing more than I do at the pool/beach in my bikini.

2.) You're having dinner at the inlaws (your boyfriend/girlfriend's parents if not married) and the food is so awful you would rather eat the table cloth. Your mother in law (bf/gf mother) calls you out and asks if there is anything wrong with the food. You can't say you're "just not that hungry" because you had earlier claimed to be "starving" so now, how do you respond to her?
I would say that my stomach is a bit upset because of the monthly problems (as not to freak out the men at the table) and that I don't want to eat too much to upset it some more.

3.) In the middle of foreplay, your partner asks if you want to try something new. You ask what it is. They want to stick some kind of frozen fruit or vegetable up your anus. How open to trying this are you?
I'm all for trying new things, but there's nothing going up my anus. And fruit can be used during sex but not by sticking it up any holes.

4.) Would you rather have to walk 30 feet over burning hot coals or walk 70 feet over broken shards of glass? Why?
Don't think neither is an option. I think I'd go for the 70 feet, you can please your feet carefully as not to hurt them (or to hurt them less).

5.) Would you rather have to have sex with your partner with a room full of your former highschool classmates watching or have sex with your partener in a room full with a mix of each of your former exes watching?
What's up with these questions this week?
I'd go for the former exes. At least they can give you hints and tips.
Although I would be completely freaked out if the exes would consist of highschool classmates.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Writer's block

I have a writer's block. And it's getting very very annoying. Because I only have 10 days to finish all my schoolwork. And I just have it when I'm in front of a computer. I was okay when I was with dad on the phone, we discussed options for the project (don't ask me what because they have gone too), or when I was out buying groceries.

And I know I can do it, but right now I'm forcing myself and that even blocks the block more. I have done this kind of project before. And I've done it in a few hours too (even though the teacher likes to think that you've worked weeks on it). But those projects you got information from the teacher, and with that info you can put part A together, and you base part B on part A.

I'm starting from scratch. And I think that as soon as I've finished part A, part B will be done in a few hours as always. But just to get that part A done, information is nowhere to be found (not books, not internet). There is some in my head but of course that's locked up in a drawer and my mind has currently lost the key.

So I thought if I just enjoy the sunshine today, the weather is never that good here, so why not enjoy it while it lasts. Well...as soon as I'm outside with my book in Princes Gardens, my conscious kicks in You still have to finish that project. Mom and Aunt will be here next Wednesday. You know you won't do anything tomorrow if your date comes over. So then I just walk outside do the necessary shopping and go back inside to stare at a computer screen.

And to think about my date. He's frustrating the hell out of me. He's so amazing when we're together. But it seems like Out of sight, out of mind. He doesn't text if I haven't texted him first, and even that response can take the whole day. This morning he says I'll call or text you after work. Well....work was done at 1. It's now 8.5 hours later, still no text or call. I've texted him (of course I'm too impatient to wait) asking how work was and things about tomorrow (because he's supposed to come over). Still nothing.

I don't know why I keep seeing him. He keeps saying he doesn't want to f up. So I tell him he's starting to f up. And I explain why. He seems to get it. But apparently not.

One of my (guy) friends is telling me that I'm overinterperting, like I always do when I'm interested in a guy. He's a guy, most guys are bad at texting. He probably doesn't even notice that you're bugged by it. I know I should just relax. Because I'm going to be gone in 9 weeks anyway.

9 weeks. On one hand side it's only 9 weeks, because I just love Edinburgh and the few friends I have. I like my ritual of going to the gym for lunch.
On the other hand side, can I survive another 9 weeks at work? Sometimes I really wish I hadn't said yes to the extra 6 weeks, but sometimes it's not that bad. And then there's ms evil, she's good underpressure on her own, she gets evil to others if she's underpressure. I know I should say something when she's rude or demanding things, but I can't because if hell breaks loose I'm really not going to survive the last 9 weeks.

Only 9 weeks to go, that means 17 are already done. I feel that I've been here for ages, but at the same time I feel like I've just arrived.

Okay maybe I can do something for school now. (probably not but i'm going to try).

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Wednesday Weirdness

I don't have a lot to tell since I only work and do schoolwork at the moment (or trying to, but end up fixing my computer first and only do schoolwork for 30 min instead of 2 hours :S).

While I was thinking of a nickname for my date (we have another date on Thursday), I thought of my Edi friend, the Duke. Edi friend...Edi friend, ex-edi friend actually.

He got a girlfriend so of course he wasn't texting or emailing as often as he used to. But when he stands you up for a few different dates to go to his girlfriend without leaving a message, you have all the right to get a bit angry. And then he starts accusing me and our other friend that we are claiming that he has to spend more time with us than with his girlfriend. Which is not true, we just want to have one evening after 4 weeks of not seeing or speaking to him and that is even impossible. And he gets angry with us and that we never responded positive towards his relationship, which again isn't true. We're happy that he has found someone. And that we are not seeing things from his perspective. And we were really trying too but when I pointed out that if every one except him is wrong, that maybe we had a point. Well...that started a whole new blow up from his side. To make a long story short, when everything was calmed down, he was ok to still meet me but not the other friend. I was "ok I'll see you and your girlfriend at the movies next week". And he was like she doesn't want to meet you because you've been upsetting me. Sigh. I told him I got that, I was angry too. And that comment started him to blow up yet again. I didn't have reason to be mad. So we parted ways too.

But I was trying to come up with a nickname for my current date, still failing. Hopefully he'll do something that will give him a nickname. I'm going to see him Thursday again, and it's his turn to think of what we're going to do. If you have any tips/ideas for me, let me know. I'm not creative, I'm more from production. Tell me what to do and I'll make it happen, but making that thing up, that's difficult. I do have a livid imagination but that's completely different from thinking of things to do for a date.

One to Wednesday Weirdness.

1.) How easily are you insulted?
I don't know. It really depends what the insult is.

2.) How often do you perform oral sex on your SO?
If I have an SO: I don't know, I don't count. But often enough.

3.) What brand of shoes do you find to be most comfortable?
Euhm....a brand who have shoes who don't have heels? I don't have a specific brand of shoes that I wear. I do want to say that I have pink all stars. :D

4.) What are 3 to 5 items you NEVER leave the house without?
Never never?! Clothes and shoes.
Well...most of the times I will have keys, phone and wallet with me. And a book or music. But often at home I don't have anything on me when I just go out into the streets (neighbours, aunt/uncle/cousins, walking Harvey).

5.) Who did you look up to as you were growing up? Who do you look up to now?
When I was little, to everyone that was taller. :P My parents, and I still do. I know I'm often saying that I want to not be that protective of my kids (or don't give them curfews when they reach a certain age), but I think I would do so many things the same. Just because it worked out for me and my brother.

6.) If you've ever been a strip club of any type, what was one of your most memorable moments?
I've never been to a stripclub but I have loads just around the corner.

7.) Should prostituation be legal? Why or why not?
Why not?