Happy and sad

Woohooo I finished my schoolprojects. I'm so happy that it's finally over. No more schoolwork for this year. Only work and fun stuff.

I had planned to finish most of it on Friday, but of course that didn't work because of the sad sad news of MJ's passing. While doing my schoolwork I had the telly on, listening to (and watching of course) MJ's music. So I did most on Saturday, with of course Michael on in the background.

I've never met the guy and he wasn't making new music anymore, so I don't think a lot will change (at least not for me). It's not that his music and videoclips seize to exist now that he's no longer here. He left a great legacy behind, I don't think that there's a person in the world who hasn't heard of Michael Jackson and tried to Moonwalk. And hopefully the great things he did will be remembered and the negative will be forgotten.

To comment on the people who think it's great that I can travel by car through loads of different countries. Well....you guys can travel through a few states, that's sort of the same. When passing state borders you don't have to show your passport, when you're crossing European borders you don't have to show your passport either.

Ok, so tomorrow I'm going back to the gym, back to my programme, and trying to snack less, more fruit. Be healthier altogether. And hopefully losing a few pounds along the way.

Happy weekend, hope you all enjoyed it.

RIP Michael and Farrah.
Thursday was a bad day for the world.

Wednesday Weirdness

And another week has passed, and nothing exciting happened this week either.

I dropped my parents off at the airport last Friday :(. I won't see them again till half August, so this will be the longest period of not seeing a parent. But one of my friends will visit me next weekend and at the end of July my other friend will come and pick me up, and we'll travel through Scotland and France (and England of course but only in driving through no sightseeing).

Hopefully next week I'll have more info about my trip, because we're going to plan it sometime next week. We were supposed to plan it last Monday/Tuesday but men aren't good in dates. The friend who's coming to pick me up had to work the first few days of August so he couldn't come until the 5th, so we would do a few days Scotland before heading over to friends in France. Now the guy we'll be visiting in France said he would cover work for the one who's picking me up. But if he's working, he won't be going on holiday to France (imagine how mad his girlfriend, one of my bestest (i know it's not a real word) friends, was? Him screwing up their holiday together), so why should we go to France? It's all messy, but we'll figure it out one way or another.

Got a text from the guy yesterday. He's been texting me every few days. This text said: sorry i've not been in touch for a few days, but i've been busy. Do you have time to show me a good time sometime? x
I just texted back: You're not the only one who's busy. And it will you showing me a good time, not the other way round. But I'll text you when I have time.
Which will be never, at least not for hime. Can you believe him? He's the one that's screwing up and then I have to show him a good time?

Well...on to Wednesday Weirdness. Come play with us.

1.) To you, what makes the perfect body the perfect body?
The confident person inside the body. If you're not confident about your body, you're not getting the perfect body. Thinking you're there, gets you half way.

2.) What part of your body do you obsess about the most?
My bum and belly. But give me a few weeks and they'll be the way I want them. I'm starting my training again on Monday (just the gym).

3.) What makes a house a warm, welcoming, comfortable home?
The feeling you get when you walk into a house. And the house has to be filled, bit old fashioned. I don't like those completely modern livingrooms, they have no feeling, it's cold.

4.) What fabric feels sexiest against bare skin?
Silk and satin

5.) What is the lamest lie you have heard in the last month?
That my ex-date didn't have my number. Even if his phone was stolen, my dutch number was in his dad's phone, he has texts of me in his dads phone. if he said he was using a friend's phone instead of his own, they both had my number, and i don't believe both were stolen.

6.) What always makes you feel better when you're upset?
Talking to my mom, about anything.

Guy troubles: reading novels and watching romantic movies, although I'm wishing I had a guy like in the movies/books, I know that he's still out there for me.

And the books/movies also works for any other troubles.

Wednesday Weirdness

So I know that I should just kick him to the curb as AZ put it. But he's just so amazing when we're together, so I still haven't decided yet. I'm not texting him first. I'm letting him text me and then when I feel like it I'll text back.

I know I just shouldn't give him the light of day, but what if he's different now? And he'll not cancel and behave himself (i know he will when we're together). Pfff...I know, just say no, he's not worth it.

Since last week nothing has changed. Work is hectic at the moment, one of my groups that is coming in this weekend is causing me a headache, changing restaurants, hotelrooms and numbers just after I have changed the restaurants, hotelrooms and numbers from the e-mail 30 min ago.

So onto Wednesday Weirdness.

1.) Do you/Did you ever have a piggy bank shaped like a pig? What do you keep your spare change in?
Nope, I did have a piggy bank shaped in Sylvester (the Cat). And now my spare change is in my wallet. Don't have that much, don't like to walk around with big amounts of money in my pocket, so i just get little amounts from the atm machines. And otherwise I'll just use my credit card if I need to pay something.

2.) Be honest. Have you ever stolen anything before?
When I was little, I've probably stolen a candy.

3.) Would it be more awkward to be walked in on during sex by your parents or your children?
Don't know, don't want to find out.

4.) How comfortable would you be at a nude beach? Would you keep your clothes on, keep it modest or bare it all?
I don't know. I don't mind going to the saunas back home (completely nude) but a beach, don't know.

5.) Where is a place that seems fun and sexy to get it on at but in reality probably wouldn't work out very well?
I think the beach would be fun, sexy and romantic but I think it just can't work, all the sand, I'm already getting chills.

6.) Do you have sex less in the summer because of the hot temperatures?
Nope, maybe even more because of summer.

7.) Have you ever had a dream that was in black and white?
I don't know, at least none that I can't remember.

Bonus) When you have a naughty dream, most often is it usually your partner in the dream with you or someone else?
That's the sad thing, I can never remember what I dreamt, it starts out that I know it was a "naughty" dream but then it would already be with a blank face of the guy. And when I try to focus, everything disappears.

Advise needed: to believe or not to believe

So apparently no Wednesday Weirdness this week (since it's already Sunday I'm not expecting one either).

My parents are visiting so actually I didn't even have time to do a Wednesday Weirdness. At the moment they are somewhere in my tiny small apartment, but I needed to post anyway. I could really use some of your advise.

Yesterday I accidentally texted him instead of a friend.

Me:"Hi hun How are you? How was your week? Mine was as busy as previous week".
Him: "Don't want to be rude, but my phone got stolen last Saturday so who are you?"
Me: "The girl you stood up last Sunday."
Him: "Nic? I was hoping you'd text once i got my phone sorted."
Me: "Didn't your best friend have my phone number?" (his phone was messed up when we met so I'd given his best friend my phone number)
Him: "He deleted it."
Me: "You know where I live, and you knew I'd be home Sunday because I made plans with you."
Him: "I was in a bad mood and just going in to town to see if you might be home while you're out since it was already late when I was up." (it's 40 min bus and then 15 min walk to my place)
Me: "Well...what you gonna do about it?"
Him: "For 1 i'm not arguing about it. Want to meet?"
Me: "I don't want to fight either. My fam is here so I'm not free til Fri."
Him: "Cool, we'll work something out during the week."
Me: "Not cancel on me this time."
Him: "I never did last time nor did i meant to.
Me: "Think how i felt? Never heard from you. Thinking you didn't even had the guts to cancel on me".
He feels really really sorry. But he hasn't even been in town since last week.

So what should I do? Give him yet another last chance? Is this really a valid excuse? Will he get it right this time? Please help.

I give up

I give up.

This week has been hellish. My Wednesday blog was about that he stood me up again, or well cancelled actually. He hadn't stood me up yet, until now. (I know, he sort of stood me up previous Sunday but he then said that he would call so we could make plans) He even called last night to confirm plans for today. He just didn't know what time we could meet since he didn't know what time he would be awake. But he would call me as soon as he'd be awake, that would probably be around 11am (I know I'm contradicting myself). I was coming down to his place and we were going to do something there but he would have to pick me up since I have no idea where to go.

Well...I'm still waiting, at it's now 6pm.

Not to let him be the person who has to call or text first, I give him a text at 2pm saying Sleepy head Aren't you awake yet? And then I tried to call him at 4pm. Nothing. So I give up.

We were supposed to meet on Friday and on Thursday he was already texting that he might have to work overtime. I told him that he was already making up excuses in case he was going to cancel. He said he wasn't going to. But of course he did. I told him that it was tonight (Friday) or goodbye. He texted me that he would text me when he'd get out of work because he didn't want it to be over. So at 9 he texts me that he's finally on his way home but that we're not able to meet because he's going straight to bed, but he would definitely have time for me on Sunday. I told him that Sunday would be really his last last chance. And now he even bleeped that up.

Roomie told me that I should not even bother setting him right if he indeed calls, I would just have to say you messed up, goodbye. My mom doesn't even think I should pick up the phone, or if I do I would have to be like [name} who? I don't know a [name].

But he is not the only reason I give up. My schoolwork. Argh!!
Yesterday one of my Scottish friends helped me with my project. Well....I hoped to be finished during the day but of course we both didn't have a clue what we had to do with the project (even after reading the mandatory chapters) but I did have an idea when I was back home at dinner time.

Ow he texted me that he was doing nothing during the day. And I texted back that I was working on school otherwise he would have been able to come over. Hmm I'm now starting to see that I'm really naive, I'm good enough when he has time or is "bored" but when something else comes up I get shoved aside, he's really just using me.

Okay so I have the things in my head what I want to write about. Every few pages I automatically saved what I had done. Then I was on a role for the next paragraph. I think I typed a page or 2. When I wanted to save it, Word got stuck and bye bye last few pages.

So I have to cancel a dinner with a friend on Monday. Because of course if my mind was fine (and not hitting itself because I've been so stupid to give the guy the benefit of the doubt over and over again) I would have probably been able to finish it today. But I haven't since my mind wandered.

Can I give up? Let me go to sleep and wake up on Wednesday night when my mum and aunt are going to be here? Because that means that I've made it through work (which is actually getting fun now I have my own groups in) and finished my schoolwork (I only need to type another 12 pages :S :S).

Well...I'm going to stare at my project for another few hours, maybe staring will make the right text appear.

Although I still have no idea when the deadline is since the teacher is not e-mailing back. How annoying.

Men! and Wednesday Weirdness

Men! What's wrong with them?

So I was supposed to have a date with my date last Thursday, he texts me the night before that we're still on. Then he texts me during the day that he has to go to Glasgow to pick some stuff up and if we can reschedule to the weekend. Fine!!

So on Friday I'm out with a friend and he calls me. He says he's going to Base (club) and if I want to join. Since I'm standing opposite of Base I'm looking where the hell he is because he said he was almost there. So I join him. And he's sweet and all. My friend had to work the next day so he has to leave. At the end of the night, we pass my house so I can pick some stuff up before heading over to his (mine is in town, his is out of town, 40 min on bus that's stopping every few seconds). Somewhere along the road he informs me that he has to work tomorrow morning. It's already 3am. By the time we're at his place it's 4. And of course before sleeping we make out, so I think it's about 5.30 before we go to sleep. His alarm was set at 7. Not funny, I was wide awake, him not so much. In the end he didn't get up until 8.30. I tried to wake him but gave up after a few tries since he had to work and not me, not my responsibility.

So when we say goodbye, I got his Sunday and he says he will call me as soon as work is over. That's at 1pm. So thinking that he would actually call, I had my phone near me from 1. I never heard anything from him until 10.30pm. And since I was getting pretty angry (I'm not demanding or anything but a text or call when you say you're calling would be nice) I left my phone in another room so I wouldn't stare at it, wanting it to ring. He calls me again at 1.30am saying that he tried to call me to go with him but since i was already in bed he would leave me alone and call me when he would wake up Sunday, probably around 2.

So Sunday comes and almost goes before I get a call. Me being the girl I am, was already getting paranoid, like he doesn't like me at all. But when we're together he's so amazing but when we're not it's more like out of sight out of mind. So frustrating. So I text him that I guess he's just not that into me and I can't believe he doesn't have the balls to say so. He gets back to me in the evening that he never got home until 1pm (he went to friends after the club) and that he just woke up, he needed to go to his moms bbq but he wasn't feeling well at all. Well...after so much partying I don't think many people would have survived. So I never got to see him Sunday.

We did have a text fight, saying that he was being an ass, and he actually admitting that he's a nightmare and that he lets friends down but doesn't mean it and he really likes me. I told him that he had to put a bit more effort in this, since I'm not able to do it on my own. And he told me he would. But of course he hasn't.

He texted me on Tuesday to say that he was so so sorry (yup double so, so I'm not sure if he's really sorry if it's just another excuse) but he had to work overtime so he wasn't able to make it tonight (he already had to work till 8), but he would make it up during the weekend.

I'm getting good at saying fine so I texted him Fine! Friday? dinner and a movie since you have to work Saturday. I get back (within a few hours, wow that's a first, except when i'm sending angry texts and him apologising) that he's free on Thursday and Friday evening was available too. He knows I have to work fulltime and I don't have any days off so why on earth would he think that I would be free on Thursday? I told him Friday was fine (i can do it without the ! :)). That was this morning. I do have a feeling that something (read: he) will screw it up again. And that will be the end.

I can't believe that I'm already giving him another chance. Normally I would have been long gone. But he really is amazing when we're together. He so likes me more than I like him. But at least I've given up on texting. I text one back and if I have a question I'll text again. Normally I would text just ask how his day has been, but since he's not able to answer those, i'm not able to send them anymore. It's his turn to try. Then I'll think about it. Because if I don't see him this weekend (it's definitely over), I won't be able to see him for another 2 weeks because my mother and aunt/dad are here and then it's only another 6 weeks for me in Scotland. And if he behaves I'm willing to see what I can do with my parents so I can fit him in for an evening, but only if he deserves it.

Sorry about that rant.

Okay back to business. Wednesday Weirdness (please click on it if you want to play too)
The questions are weirder than normal, and normally they're already pretty weird.

1.) If you had to either shop for your groceries in your underwear only (bra&panties or boxers/briefs/whatever) or run streaking through the mall totally naked for no less than 4 minutes, which will you pick?
The shopping in my underwear, it's not like I'm showing more than I do at the pool/beach in my bikini.

2.) You're having dinner at the inlaws (your boyfriend/girlfriend's parents if not married) and the food is so awful you would rather eat the table cloth. Your mother in law (bf/gf mother) calls you out and asks if there is anything wrong with the food. You can't say you're "just not that hungry" because you had earlier claimed to be "starving" so now, how do you respond to her?
I would say that my stomach is a bit upset because of the monthly problems (as not to freak out the men at the table) and that I don't want to eat too much to upset it some more.

3.) In the middle of foreplay, your partner asks if you want to try something new. You ask what it is. They want to stick some kind of frozen fruit or vegetable up your anus. How open to trying this are you?
I'm all for trying new things, but there's nothing going up my anus. And fruit can be used during sex but not by sticking it up any holes.

4.) Would you rather have to walk 30 feet over burning hot coals or walk 70 feet over broken shards of glass? Why?
Don't think neither is an option. I think I'd go for the 70 feet, you can please your feet carefully as not to hurt them (or to hurt them less).

5.) Would you rather have to have sex with your partner with a room full of your former highschool classmates watching or have sex with your partener in a room full with a mix of each of your former exes watching?
What's up with these questions this week?
I'd go for the former exes. At least they can give you hints and tips.
Although I would be completely freaked out if the exes would consist of highschool classmates.